Who Charted? Clearly, Janet Jackson Hooked Up With The Wrong Diminuative Loudmouth
Last week’s sales figures have been tallied, and, much like America, it’s a strange mix of smooth-talkers, skanks and polka enthusiasts:
Biggest Debuts: Ludacris’ Release Therapy took the No. 1 slot, selling 309,000 copies, while Ms. Jackson’s Jermaine Dupri-directed 20 Y.O. album sold 296,000 copies, her smallest sales week in nearly a decade. Elsewhere: Tony Bennett’s Duets: Who The Hell Gave Bono The Studio Keys? at No. 3, Alan Jackson’s Like Red on a Rose at No. 4, and blogger-buzz act “Weird Al” Yankovic’s Straight Outta Lynwood at No. 10.
Biggest Slides: Clearly, Clay Aiken’s A Thousand Different Ways only appealed to a thousand different gays, taking a 65% sales decrease. Fergie’s The Dutchess also moved down a few notches, but we think she’ll get a few sympathy purchases after people see her desperate Rolling Stone cover.
Nickelback Award For Inexplicable Durability: Nickelback, whose All The Right Reasons continues to infect our country’s playgrounds and 24-hour work-out facilities.