Ultragrrrl Employs Old Friend As Her New Publicist

ultrathummmb.jpgThe good news about Ultragrrrl’s latest piece of rapturous press-praise: It’s in way-late-to-the-game Vanity Fair, meaning that the backlash can be only a few weeks away. The bad news: Considering that the glowingly sycophantastic piece is credited to Ultra’s long-time friend Marc Spitz, VF no longer believes it’s a conflict of interest to allow IM best-buddies to write about one another. In one of the weakest disclosures ever, Spitz notes that he and Ultra (we can’t believe we’re calling her that) are merely former Spin magazine “co-workers,” conveniently leaving out the fact that they’re actually late-night party pals who sometimes DJ together. That probably explains why the item contains not even the slightest trace of skepticism–and why no one at the magazine bothered to ground the rather lofty claim that Interpol or My Chemical Romance would never have made it without Ultra’s help. Yay, bestest friends working together! Yay, bad journalism!

On a slightly unrelated note, VF apparently has a new section called “Bling,” meaning they are nearly caught up with circa-2000 popular culture. Look for next month’s exciting new back-of-the-book column, “Audi.”

Grrrl’s Got Rhythm [Vanity Fair]

  • Dan Gibson

    In other news, I’m taking offers from music biz conglomerates to give me my own imprint. Artists I brought to the mainstream include: a few bands that played the Bait Shop on Fox’s smash hit “the OC”, the Beatles, Beethoven, and the guy who sang “Tarzan Boy”.

    Please note, I’m willing to dye my hair interesting colors for your amusement. Start the bidding now.

  • ohHELLnaw

    Nice airbrushiong job with her photo. It someone got rid of her carb-face.

  • titanica

    (Wow, I can’t believe the carb-face guy is still obsessed with ultra. It’s been what, three years now?) Yeah, the Spitz thing is pretty shady, but the guy needs work.

  • Nicolars

    …so how many airbrushers did they have to employ to work on that picture, anyway? Even the poor folks who work on Fergie pics have it relatively easy in comparison.

  • Van Hagar

    Shall we take a look at the Golden Grrl’s track record:

    The Ooh Las’ total sales, released on Sept. 26: 316 copies

    Monty Are I total sales, released on August 1st: 3,397

    Whoo-hoo. Tearing up the Billboards.

    And btw, this “Orthodox Jew” bullshit has to stop. I see this girl partying on Friday nights all the time. If she’s an Ortho, then I’m a hassid.

    And trust me, I’m no hassid.

  • shallowrewards

    Ahh, the time-tested black turtleneck: the original Photoshop.

  • the rich girls are weeping

    Fingers crossed that one of my friends goes to work for VF soon…! Ha!

  • SupraCute

    forget any carb comments or physical criticisms, let’s all stick with the thing worth bitching about: how this woman – I mean, grrrl – became the music scene’s paris hilton?

    so much praise and adulation, such little talent.

    i don’t blame her; i blame the MySpace generation.

  • kilgub

    Sure they’re still friends? She comes across terribly in that piece.

  • Ultragrrrl

    Ah yes… you too would turn down the offer to have a piece written about you in Vanity Fair, particularly one that you knew would be written by someone who has actually been keeping close tabs on your career rather than someone who was simply assigned something.

    And to Van Hagar, the concept of an “incubator” is sadly lost on you, a supposed music fan, who doesn’t understand the concept of something with a slow build rather than an instant impact that might not have staying power. How many copies of interpol’s first album were sold the first week? How about My Chem’s eyeball debut? You have soundscan, apparently… take a look for yourself.

    Anyway, keep on talking about me. Thank you for keeping my name out there.

  • Miss Tanya

    I wish I had worked harder to be infamous, just so I could have someone take a photo that hot.

    Stop hatin’ fools.

  • allboutit

    That Ooh La La’s record is so bad it matters not what anyone, let alone Spitz, says in VF.

  • Prada James

    I would turn it down if it basically credited me with “discovering” Interpol and Muse.

  • Prada James

    [(steve aoki - trust fund) + (jew + female)] * (airbrushed semi-attractiveness/media friends) = ultragrrrl

  • citizen_shame

    doesn’t mommy paying the rent equate trust funded?

  • ohHELLnaw

    There’s a trust fund. Her daddy sued the Egyptian govenment and won a few hundred million. Really. (Cue the lyrics to “Common People”)

  • shallowrewards

    Queue “The Rat.”

  • rchick

    Forget the discovering of bands.. how can we forget the great Spin coverage that soley consisted of sitting next to Carlos D. on a barstool? Aww.. I miss that blow job of a column to like 3 bands on the LES.

  • Ultragrrrl

    actually, my dad never ended up winning that case. it was dropped and another organization picked up the case and won. and, if you know anything about cases like the one he had, you’d know that you have to give something a pricetag even if you deem it “priceless.” so when the courts said “OK Mr. Lewitinn, you’re suing for custody of these priceless scriptures… you need to give a pricetag,” my dad essentially became the original Dr. Evil and said a ridiculous number in an attempt to prove what a crazy concept it is to put a pricetag on something that cant be bought. However, if you took time to do your research on things like law practices as much as you spent googling/lexus’ing my name, you’d discover that. You might also discover a very public article about how not-so-well off my family was.

  • Van Hagar

    Yes, speaking as a music fan who even–gasp!– enjoys the Ooh Las record, the difference is–and we can have this discussion for hours and probably not see eye-to-eye–is that most indie bands (Interpol on Matador, My Chemical Romance on Eyeball Records) build an audience organically, as opposed to being forced on the kids by a major label push. And endorsements from a blog doesn’t qualify said-push as indie.

    In preventing this from becoming a what’s-wrong-with-major-labels comment/speech I’m just gonna say one thing: the inherent problem with the philosophies here is that everything is “the next Killers,” “the next My Chemical Romance,” “the next Nirvana.” That’s so backward-thinking. With that A&R mentality, none of the aforementioned would have ever been signed.

    I’m not a malicious person. I truly wish you luck in proving yourself. I hope you eventually have that opportunity to prove all the skeptics (including myself) wrong but when you need an A&R person that’ll pick great music, gimme a call.

    - Still not a hassid.

  • Catbirdseat

    Hagar: Label A&R has nothing to do with “great music;” it has to do with “What Will Sell.”

    That’s a very important concept to keep in mind.

  • Ultragrrrl

    the marketing budget for any campaign we have is about the same amount that brandon flowers’ entire outfit cost on SNL. i wish i was kidding. that’s no major label push…

  • gregor

    is it wrong that i dont have the slightest clue who ultragrrrrrrl is?

  • gregor

    so she is no different than 97% of the people who have access to the internets.

  • Faster

    Actually, Van Hagar, as an executive who’s been working in marketing for the last 11 years, including some work for labels and artists as well as corporate, endorsements from blogs does qualify as an “indie” push in our business. The band may not be indie, but doing targeted grassroots outreach to bloggers is not considered mainstream (e.g. – costly), ergo, it’s indie.

  • shallowrewards

    I would like to know who has been paying you for the last 11 years.

  • sarahblooms

    There’s so much seriously good, seriously indie music out there, I don’t know why anybody cares about this broad.

    Besides, we’re arguing about the same phenomenon that brought you Dane Cook and Linkin Park. All the tweenies in the world with internet access and time to kill won’t change the fact that the man and the band (and the Killers, and My Chemical Romance) completely and totally suck.

  • AcilletaM

    She’s someone who apparently likes to argue with the crazies (and I include myself in that category) on the Interwebs.

  • ronspy

    Should Marc Spitz have written the piece for VF? Probably not since they did work together for a long time. But that’s VF’s mistake, not Sarah’s.

    The truth is, whether you agree with her taste or not, Sarah has taken a very astute ear for a specific kind of indie/emo music that a lot of people like and an awesome screen name and parlayed it into her own little empire. People tear her down for a lot of nonsense reasons, but most of them would love to be able to do what she is doing and has always done–listen to music she loves, talk about it with anyone who will listen, and meanwhile try to make some cash.

  • AcidReign

    …..Mm. Too bad there’s no .mp3 here to listen to. That’s my measure. Just stick a 10 second snippet out there. Don’t let the BitTorrent folk win?!? Heh. Another sale lost. Ultragrll looks hott, whether it’s skill with a razor, or Photoshop, who cares?

    …..It’s not like you’re going to get a date with her, guys ‘n’ gals…