Pitchfork Critics Drunk With Power, Zinging Observations

Oct 12th, 2006 // 4 Comments

pitchfork.jpgCracked magazine’s new blog–never thought we’d be throwing those words together–has come up with the inevitable Pitchfork Media Drinking Game:

- If the reviewer begins the review you’re reading with a story that has essentially nothing to do with the record he or she is reviewing, take a drink.

- If the review starts with a question about whether the band in question can ever acheive popular success or implies that they’ve abandoned their fan base by acheiving popular success, take a drink.

- For every instance of the phrases “looms large,” “return to form,” “eponymous effort,” and “crucial record,” take a drink.

Alas, they forgot a few examples, such as “For every instance in which a mass-mailed press release is recycled as ‘News,’ take a drink” and “Every time you think they’re just plain making shit up, take a drink,” though we think both of those would have completely you blotto by noon.

The Pitchfork Media Drinking Game [MW Blog]

idolator

  1. shallowrewards

    If I see the word “bombast” one more time…

  2. shallowrewards

    If I see the word “bombast” on that site one more fucking time…

  3. Catbirdseat

    “For every instance in which a mass-mailed press release is recycled as ‘News’…”

    You’re talking about Pitchfork with this line? Don’t you really mean to apply that to “*EVERY* music blog?”

    I actually thought about starting a site where I merely cut-and-posted every single press release that came to my inbox, so that people could compare the text to what was being posted out in the music-blogosphere.

    (Didn’t ultimately do it because, god, who has the time?)

  4. Mo!

    For every “hip” article Cracked publishes, take a drink.

    If Cracked publishes two dumb frat boy articles for every intelligent article take a drink.

    If you think the Cracked website is really Maxim Magazine making fun of Cracked, take a drink.

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