Keith Richards Passes Out, Hits Head On The Caps-Lock Button

Oct 12th, 2006 // 4 Comments

The Smoking Gun has updated its tour-riders section, and once again, the Rolling Stones prove that no one can top them when it comes to backstage bacchanalia. Check out these verbatim demands:

PLEASE FIND OUT WHAT CHANNEL IS SHOWING CRICKET. THAT IS THE CHANNEL WE NEED MOST OF ALL. I BELIEVE DIRECT T.V. HAS THE CHANNEL WE NEED. WE WILL USE OUR OWN TV AND VCR.

And:

TEMPURATURE, HEATING AND AIR FLOW ARE VERY IMPORTANT. PLEASE INFORM ME OF WHAT THE VENUE PROVIDES. THAT MEANS WHAT IS ARCHITECTURALLY PRE-EXISITING! I WANT TO KNOW HOW AND FROM WHERE THE CLIMATE IS CONTROLLED AND WHO CONTROLS IT.

Is it just us, or do these read as if they were written by a squad of cranky British robots? Either way, click below to read the most intimidating floral request of all time.

TSG BAckstage: Rolling Stones [Smoking Gun]

  1. chaircrusher

    TEMPURATURE — is that a portmanteau, meaning the temperature of your Tempura? It is important that your deep fried zucchini and shrimp be served piping hit!

  2. Tyler Knew and Turk! Wendell Ate Won Too

    WE WILL USE OUR OWN TV AND VCR.

    BECAUSE YOU BLOODY YANKS NEVER GOT THE WHOLE BETAMAX THING.

    Seriously Keef, buy a Tivo.

  3. misskaz

    SNOOKER TABLE
    THE TOUR CARRIES THERE OWN SNOOKER TABLE

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