Dentists Employ Black Eyed Peas To Indoctrinate Children

Oct 13th, 2006 // 3 Comments

tooth.jpgOh, technology. What will you think of next?

Rock your teeth clean – and encourage better brushing habits! – with this electronic toothbrush that lets you hear one of your favorite songs while you brush! Sound vibrations stream from the bristles through your teeth – so you can actually hear music inside your head! To increase the volume, simply increase your brushing pressure! The better you brush, the better the sound! If you brush well, you’ll actually hear two full minutes of “Let’s Get It Started” by the Black Eyed Peas!

Yes, that’s right: The Black Eyed Peas can now be beamed directly into the brains of unwitting children who just want to please their parents. It’s times like these that make us wonder if people haven’t gone too far in their ruthless quest for a cavity-free smile.

UPDATE: It’s just been brought to our attention that an Australian woman had lightning shoot out of her ass while she was brushing her teeth. We can only guess that this is one of the many unwanted side-effects of listening to Fergie in the bathroom.

Tooth Tunes Children’s Musical Toothbrush [hasbro.com]

  1. Clare

    Did you see some of the other titles? “We Will Rock You”? “Rock and Roll All Nite”? “Gonna Fly Now (Theme from ‘Rocky’)”? What demo are they going after with those choices, the world’s oldest eight-year-olds?

  2. IvyLeagueMetalhead

    Yeah, that lightning-out-the-ass story happened somewhere in Eastern Europe. Sheesh, those girls manage to do things that sound pornographic even when they’re brushing their teeth!

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