Wall-Street Headbangers Combine TNA With MBAs

Oct 16th, 2006 // 8 Comments

Tawny_Kitaen.jpgFrom craigslist:

Wall street guys (three of five are married, ages 27-42, and all good lookin’!) in band, Hammer of Thor, are looking for attractive female to dance on stage with us at Southpaw (in Park Slope)… We play a mix of originals and covers, mostly sleazey shit rock from the 70′s and 80′s (Kiss, Danzing, Cult, Whitesnake, Judas Priest, Nugent, etc.). We have smoke machines and lasers.

We’d like you to look like a music video model from the eighties (tawny kittaen?) Bangs, teased haird, spandex, leather bra ala motley crue dancers, captains hat made of leather with chain across, all encouraged. If you are in business school this would be a great opporunity to network; this is no joke. Hedge fund, PE, I Banking and institutional sales and trading strongly represented in band and audience

That’s right, ladies: If you’re looking to further your business career, all you have to do is wriggle on stage with a bunch of shitheads who’ve been harboring Tawny Kitaen masturbation fantasies since the fifth grade–and yet still can’t spell her name right.

Wanted: Female Model for Rock Band Live Show

  1. valet_of_the_dolls

    I’m guessing that in this case, “network”= “expose yourself to unwelcome sexual banter & inept come-ons.” But then, when doesn’t it?

  2. MickFNS

    Wall Street Guys at Southpaw?

    I can’t wait to hear the originals, much less the song intros: “You ever have one of those days where everyone seems to be on your case, from your multi-million dollar clients all the way down to the bartender at Harry’s? And then you have stick around for an hour after the market closes? Well I found a way to get out of it… lemmee tell you ’bout…”

  3. goathair

    We Have Smoke Machines and Lasers is my new band’s name.

  4. millwhistle

    Okay, well, Teased Haird is MY new band name. Can we open for you? I bet we can get some hot chicks to dance onstage with us… somehow… I know, let’s ask around at the Wall Street Journal!

  5. PengIn

    When I think Danzig, I definitely think Wall Street. “I raped your mother today,” indeed.

  6. Miss Tanya

    The good news is, I think Tawny is available.

  7. FionaScrapple

    In this context, “business school” can be fairly seen as a metaphor for a solid, reliable coke connection.

    80′s indeed!!

  8. Tyler Knew and Turk! Wendell Ate Won Too

    No mortal may lift Mjolnir.

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