Exclusive: Britney And Kevin’s Final Text Act

Nov 8th, 2006 // 6 Comments

As many of you already know, Britney Spears filed for divorce from Kevin Federline Monday afternoon; what some of you may not know is that Britney reportedly did this via text-message. As it turns out, Idolator is buddy-buddy with somebody who works at Britney’s network provider, and they hooked us up with the actual back-and-forth exchange. After the click-through, a poignant behind-the-scenes at the moment America’s innocence changed forever.

B: BABY WHERE U @?
K: hey dolface… I am at the fye store, signing some cds
B: ! I DIDN’T KNOW U WERE DOING A CD SIGNING!!
K: im not.
B: ?
K: im just signing cds. in the store.
B: O.
K: where you @ buttonbutt?
B: THATS WHAT I NEED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT. IM IN NEW YORK UALL. WERE THROUGH. I AM FILING FOR DIVORCE!!
K: what? when? why?
B: I CANT TAKE ANYMORE OF IT…I AM SICK OF ALL THE PARTYING, ALL THE WOMEN, ALL 1-SIDED DEBATES ON STEMCELL RESEARCH..>ALL OF IT.
K: why didn’t you tell me???
B: I TRIED TO SAY SOMETHING BEFORE U LEFT TOWN, BUT U WERE 2 BUSY TEACHING SEAN HOW TO PLAY GIN RUMMY
K that’s not fair, baby!! U no his bluffing is terrible!
B I KNOW, BUT THATS NO EXCUSE UALL. AND I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE
K: so whats gonna happen?
B: YOU CAN TAKE THE JACUZI AND THE BOA CONTSTRICTOR PEN BUT THATS IT..
K: so this is really happening then? say something!
B: >:p
K: u no how much it hurts me when u do that!!
B: IM SORRY BABY BUT I HAVE TO GO NOW. I HOPE U HAVE A GOOD LIFE AND THAT U REMEMBER THE GOOD TIMES WE HAD, LIKE THE SHOPPING TRIPS AT LIDS, OR THE TIME WE FOUND THAT ARBYS COUPON
K: no!
B: DON’T CRY KEVBO, THERE ARE OTHER FISH IN THE SEA
B: AND OTHER ARBYS COUPONS IN THE SEA 2. GOODBYE!!
K: hello?
K: britney?
K: :(

  1. xtianrut

    Beware: Once this is all said and done, it’s going to be a lot harder to be funny in blogland. Brit & KFed just make it so easy…

  2. Poubelle

    I CANT TAKE ANYMORE OF IT…I AM SICK OF ALL THE PARTYING, ALL THE WOMEN, ALL 1-SIDED DEBATES ON STEMCELL RESEARCH..>ALL OF IT.
    One-sided? What, do each of them take half a side?

  3. Wasp vs Stryper

    B: plus, u never listen to me no more. like that time i ask you to get me a deep fried candy bar but u came back with deep fried coca cola pudding. thats whack yo.

    K: well i aint gonna bring up the time you drank all my boone wine and projectile vomitted on my velvet painting which i all got at the state fair

    B: fine, than I aint gonna bring up the time u fed Sean Preston a marlboro by accident

    K: I miss Shar

    B: U r so country. I quit yall.

  4. Quine

    buttonbutt??? what kind of a pet name is that?!

    very funny though.

  5. MJ

    B: IM DIVORCIN U LOL

  6. BawstonSean

    It’s been almost a day since this happened, and I haven’t seen the Kelly vs. K-Fed text-message-mash-up video yet. What gives?

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