Gerard Vs. Bear: Who Is This Animal, Anyway?

Nov 17th, 2006 // 17 Comments

bearhold.jpgFor those of you still slightly bewildered by the Gerard Vs. Bear saga, a quick recap: He (or she) is an anonymous music blogger (or blogette) who enjoys nothing more than smacking around other music bloggers. In the last few weeks, GVB has been posting more than ever, becoming semi-famous enough to inspire some tawdry slash fiction; the whole ordeal is like Primary Colors for the Oink set. So who is Gerard? Our completely speculative guesses after the click-through.

Name: Chris Ott
Blog: Shallow Rewards
Why he might be Gerard: He pens the Village Voice‘s “Blogwash” column, so he probably has plenty of leftover spleen to vent even after his Voice stories hit the stands.
Why he’s probably not Gerard: Too busy picking message-board fights with the guy from the Decemberists and his girlfriend.

Name: “Ryan Catbirdseat”
Blog: The Catbirdseat
Why he might be Gerard: Like to poke fun at bloggers and indie-rockers; runs a record label, meaning that if he were to rail against music bloggers, he’d want to remain anonymous.
Why he might not be Gerard: Seems to be having too much fun trying to figure out who Gerard is.

Name: Ryan Irvine
Blog: Good Hodgkins
Why he might be Gerard: He’s Gerard’s biggest target, which could be a self-perpetuated attempt at misdirection.
Why he’s probably not: Gerard really goes after this guy–if it is him, there’s some serious self-loathing going on here.

Name: Brian Raftery and Maura Johnston
Blog: Idolator
Why they might be Gerard: It could be a brilliant ploy to boost coverage of the oft-snoozy music-blog world.
Why it’s probably not them: They’re nowhere near their 12-posts-a-day count as it is. Plus, they’re not that brilliant.

  1. mike a

    I saw “Gerard” and immediately thought of the Can’t Stop The Bleeding proprietor – but this isn’t even close to his writing style.

  2. Catbirdseat

    You wish.

  3. Catbirdseat

    I mean

    FUCK THE FUCK??! YOU WISH THE FUCK!!!

  4. DavidWatts

    I would say Nick Sylvester, but both Gerard’s and the Bear’s writing makes more sense.

  5. MTS

    Maura, two words for you: CHERRY COKE

  6. The Lord God

    I say “Chris Ott” loves to be “Chris Ott” too much to be Gerard.

  7. Ned Raggett

    Maura, two words for you: CHERRY COKE

    Roffles.

  8. mp3hugger

    Have to say I’d be more interested to find out who Carlos The Jackal is. Who really cares about the identity apart from Gerard and a small circle of amateur sleuths/friends, its kinda tiresome at this stage.

    Now back to the Murder She Wrote boxset….

  9. rad_matter

    I want to be Gerald. However, I’m too arrogant to write short sentences. I like verbose sentences.

  10. natepatrin

    Me, I don’t really give a FUUUUUUUUCK.

  11. Mo!

    A)I’ve long suspected Brian Raftery
    B) Oh just admit it – it’s you guys.

    After I drop a tip about a cached blog post “revealing” the identity you say it might be fake and don’t follow up on it? Idolator is also one of Gerard’s biggest targets. The same day Idolator makes blogosphere debut Brooklyn Vegan links to Gerard vs. Bear. Gerard vs. Bear, like Idolator, mocks mp3 blogs. Finally, you suspect yourselves. Why on earth would you do that if it weren’t you guys.

    Well played my friends, well fuck the played.

  12. Silverfuture

    It’s totally Perpetua.

  13. gorillavsbear

    i think you guys are way off the fuck.

  14. Brian Raftery

    Mo, I love ya, but do you mean
    this tip?

    Alas, it’s not me. Could be Maura, but I know for a fact she spends most of her downtime on grungerecoverygroup.org.

  15. Bob Loblaw

    The counselors at grungerecovery are super-friendly. There’s this one girl named Esther who used to tour with Tad, and I can tell you for a fact that she’s saved my life more than once.

  16. Maura Johnston

    from: Gerard Batman Gerard
    to: maura @ idolator
    date: Nov 17, 2006 5:24 PM
    subject: I KNOW YOU”RE GERARD

    ADMIT IT!

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