Sure-To-Be Asinine “Rolling Stone” Reality Show Introduces Certifiably Asinine Blog

Dec 13th, 2006 // 16 Comments

Next month, Rolling Stone will premiere its new reality show, I’m From Rolling Stone (original title: I Wanted A Job With, Um, Facebook? But Like, They Weren’t Hiring?). And today they introduced the show’s official blog, which features six nobody-in-this-biz-looks-like-that hotties all vying for the chance to write their own three-star reviews. The blog has pictures and profiles of all the contestants, and their quotes are a series of inanities that could only be described as random notes:

- “I guess I had this romantic idea [of the RS office] in my head of people under their desks shooting heroin in their eyeballs, like, ‘Whoa they must be on a deadline.’”
- “When I was fifteen, I went to a Lost Boyz concert and Freaky Todd asked me if he could have sex with me!”
- “And a lot of kids said I was bossy — before Kelis said it was cool.”
- “Jann Wenner calls, and I didn’t know who he was. My friend was like ‘Some guy named Han just called you.’”
- “Freddie Mercury, Mick Jagger, Steven Tyler — they just have something no one else has.”

Hey, wait a minute–that last one seems awfully familiar. Did Jann Wenner try out for his own show?

I’m From Rolling Stone [rollingstone.com]

  1. mike a

    I believe those bios like I believe Justin Timberlake is actually an MC5 fan. That said, I may just have to watch this if for no other reason than to marvel at the “journalism” they produce. (Perhaps I’m still bitter about being turned down for an RS internship as a collegiate undergrad.)

  2. Bob Loblaw

    Right on, Bullet Point #1. I too had some insane idea of what the RS offices would be like (boomboxes, Bono just passing through, gorgeous hangers-on, associate editors playing air guitar on top of their desks), then it turned out to be quiet people doing quiet work at their cubicles.

    Understandable, of course, but my 13 year-old self died a little bit that day.

  3. The Mozfather

    The cast photo looks like its for a 2003 remake of The Breakfast Club.

  4. Jude

    hey…….wait a minute….something’s amiss…where’s the–OH, THERE HE IS!Token Black Guy. Check.

  5. Jude

    hey, wait a minute……something’s amiss…..where’s the–OH!…THERE HE IS!

    “Token Black Guy”…Check.

  6. Maura Johnston

    actually, tika is a chick.

  7. Nicolars

    Face it, anyone who appears on an mtv reality show should be put into an internment camp.

  8. Spit

    the whole show is a buncha west coast white hippies, an aussie, and a black lesbian to represent everything else? way to tactfully handle the diversity aspect, wenner.

  9. The HZA. [member of the zombie nation]

    Funny, I applied to be on this reality show. Not to write three star reviews, I know that their reviews are utter shit. And they contradict themselves the next month. But I want to write for the mag to do some Hunter S Thompson stuff. Not write about the depth of being Fergalicious. The application for the show was more intensive than any college application. They asked for writing samples, but it was clear they didn’t give a shit about the writing. They was just curious to know if I ever got drunk and maybe almost had a three-way. And there was maybe a two week window to do it. I wonder how these kids found out about it. I read about it in RS. When they rejected me they sent me the most assholian email ever. I may be slightly elitist, but I was more than qualified to write for the mag. I know who Jann is and can say his name properly. Whatever. I await to see if they can use your/you’re in proper context. I’ll make it a fucking drinking game.

  10. rilla

    I’m betting the blonde chick screws all the guys and someone calls Token the “N-word”. Follows the MTV Reality Guidelines.

    Jann is hep and all, but no one reads Rolling Stone for “music information”. It’s all about Peter Travers’ insightful movie reviews.

  11. kiteless

    It tika speaks anywhere near the way snoopy does on The Wire, I’ll listen to every word.

  12. mike a

    When they rejected me they sent me the most assholian email ever.

    please, you HAVE to post this!

    actually, didn’t almost famous already tackle the novice-writes-for-rs theme? what these goobers need is a lester bangs to mentor them.

  13. The HZA. [member of the zombie nation]

    Dear applicant,

    Thank you very much for your interest in the MTV/Rolling Stone project. We very much appreciate the time you took to prepare and submit all the necessary materials.

    Unfortunately, we are not able to offer you a place on our show this season.

    Please do not take this as any negative reflection on your writing ability or personal story. We simply received many, many times more applications from qualified candidates than we were able to accommodate.

    We wish you all the best with your career and personal projects in the future.

    Kind Regards,
    The MTV/Rolling Stone Project Casting Staff

    ——————————–

    Now go read the bios again and tell me if that even computes?

  14. kiteless

    how is that assholish in the least? Sounds pretty professional to me.

  15. rchick

    Jann wouldn’t give a young Hunter the time of day if he walked into his offices now. In fact, in this balls-less world we call journo these days, I doubt anyone would. Too ‘controversial.’

  16. FunkyJ

    I’m sorry, but I simply cannot see how they will make a show based on writing about music, exciting television.

    Then again, the only reason anyone watches reality shows is in the hope of seeing tits or a fist fight, anyway.

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