Check Your Head: A Guide To Pop-Star Prophylactics

Brian Raftery | January 10, 2007 9:33 am
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Now that 50 Cent has announced his entry into the condom business–as he says in a press release, “You’re either a lubrican or a lubricant”–perhaps it’s time to look back at the other Top 40 stars who have branched into the safe-sex industry. After all, Fitty is hardly the first: Frankie Goes To Hollywood gave one away with a 1987 cassingle, and Aerosmith subtly sent one out as a promotional item for the group’s “Pink” single. Sophie B. Hawkins, meanwhile, is still making a mint from “Damn! I Wish I Was Your Lover!” dental dams. After the click-through, our users’ guide to some of the most rockin’ rubbers of all time:

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U2’s “Achtung Baby” tour condom (199?) NICKNAME: The BoNO PROS: Sold during the band’s early-’90s Zoo TV jaunts, and guaranteed to last for the duration of one of Bono’s mid-song “Bullet The Blue Sky” speeches. CONS: Who’s gonna ride your wild horses when you’re using a 15-year-old rubber?

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Madonna condom (2001) NICKNAME: Papa Don’t Breach PROS: These unauthorized imports feature images from Madge’s infamous mid-’80s nude-photo sessions. CONS: A disappointed Danny Aiello will glower at you from the room next door if you use them incorrectly.

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Kiss Kondoms (2002) NICKNAME: The Love Gun PROS: Combines the thrill of schlocky merchandising tie-ins with the forced comedy of strained alliterations. CONS: Every 100th condom shipped arrives at your door attached to Gene Simmons.