Yesterday, EMI announced that it was merging Capitol Records and Virgin Records into the newly formed Capitol Music Group, which sounds like the name of a bank that doesn’t have a lot of money, and that plays Corrine Bailey Rae non-stop in the lobby. But what does this mean for all the low-on-the-totem-pole Cap-Virg artists? Our guesses after the click-through.
WHO WE’RE WORRIED ABOUT:
DISTRESSING DATA: His two albums earned him a following among neo-soul nerds, but he can’t get a single to connect with listeners–though he did get a Grammy nomination for his “Family Affair” jam with Joss Stone and John Legend.
ODDS OF SURVIVING ON LABEL This guy’s going to break eventually; for now, that Grammy nod may save him. 8-1
DISTRESSING DATA: Part of the post-Coldplay British-band blitz, Doves have yet to manage a gold record in the states, despite some extensive touring and moderate radio love.
ODDS OF SURVIVING ON LABEL: We’re guessing the band’s strength (and connections) in the U.K. will keep them afloat for at least one more record. 6-1
DISTRESSING DATA Congratulations, guys! You finally signed a major-label deal! Too bad that Andy Slater, the guy who championed you, was sent packing.
ODDS OF SURVIVING ON LABEL: The new bosses would be crazy to let them go. And besides, would you want to get on the bad side of Carlos D during one of his pissy text-messaging sprees? 3-1
DISTRESSING DATA: They are a terrible, terrible band, but we’ll miss making fun of them.
ODDS OF SURVIVING ON LABEL: Considering how screwy everything is nowadays, these guys will probably get a six-album deal and an opening slot on McCartney’s next tour, while everyone else on this list languishes. EVEN