Sending The EMS To EMI: Which Bands Will Survive The Shake-Up?

Jan 26th, 2007 // 13 Comments

capitol.jpgYesterday, EMI announced that it was merging Capitol Records and Virgin Records into the newly formed Capitol Music Group, which sounds like the name of a bank that doesn’t have a lot of money, and that plays Corrine Bailey Rae non-stop in the lobby. But what does this mean for all the low-on-the-totem-pole Cap-Virg artists? Our guesses after the click-through.

DISTRESSING DATA: His two albums earned him a following among neo-soul nerds, but he can’t get a single to connect with listeners–though he did get a Grammy nomination for his “Family Affair” jam with Joss Stone and John Legend.
ODDS OF SURVIVING ON LABEL This guy’s going to break eventually; for now, that Grammy nod may save him. 8-1

DISTRESSING DATA: Part of the post-Coldplay British-band blitz, Doves have yet to manage a gold record in the states, despite some extensive touring and moderate radio love.
ODDS OF SURVIVING ON LABEL: We’re guessing the band’s strength (and connections) in the U.K. will keep them afloat for at least one more record. 6-1

DISTRESSING DATA Congratulations, guys! You finally signed a major-label deal! Too bad that Andy Slater, the guy who championed you, was sent packing.
ODDS OF SURVIVING ON LABEL: The new bosses would be crazy to let them go. And besides, would you want to get on the bad side of Carlos D during one of his pissy text-messaging sprees? 3-1

DISTRESSING DATA: They are a terrible, terrible band, but we’ll miss making fun of them.
ODDS OF SURVIVING ON LABEL: Considering how screwy everything is nowadays, these guys will probably get a six-album deal and an opening slot on McCartney’s next tour, while everyone else on this list languishes. EVEN


  1. Ned Raggett

    would you want to get on the bad side of Carlos D during one of his pissy text-messaging sprees?

    I seem to have missed this part of his personality. I just hear about the goth DJing and the h****s.

  2. beta.rogan

    With a name like Morningwood, I don’t care if they were the best band in the world, I would never, ever like them. I think people sometimes might missunderestimate how rockingly awesome a band name needs to be…stop trying to be clever and just be awesome.

    I do hope the Interpol don’t encounter any delays with their new CD…I’ve been looking forward to that one….

  3. samuraiphotog

    IJDG why (most) people aren’t all over Van Hunt.

  4. johndavidson

    Grammy winner Shelby Lynne has been a total failure.

    Liz Phair’s last record tanked (and her “breakout” record didn’t come close to recouping) and she will get dropped too.

  5. Maura Johnston

    I completely forgot about Liz Phair, probably because my mind excised all memory of “Somebody’s Miracle” from itself. Uggh.

  6. Mike Barthel

    They should keep her but force her to do an album with Trent Reznor and Ja Rule.

  7. mreasy

    What about The Decemberists? There’s already talk of them getting dropped, as Capitol consider ‘The Crane Wife’ to have been “a colossal failure.”

  8. 30f

    While this post does have the cool band-dropping speculation (I say everyone but Coldplay is muerte) – my post has better photos.

  9. Jupiter8

    Hey are the Dandy Warhols still around? Or have they lost all the goodwill that ringtone got them?

  10. dollywould

    Robbie Williams is screwed.

  11. Anonymous

    The best thing about Morningwood is Chantal Claret. Hottest thing on two legs IMHO.
    I’ve got a soft spot for Doves.

  12. Ebbywebby

    I wonder about the eternally underrated Supergrass — or were they dropped already?

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