The Capitol Gang: More Potentially Problematic Major-Label Artists

capitol.jpgEarlier today, we laid down the odds on which artists will survive the Capitol-Virgin merger. Inspired by some reader comments, we took another look at the labels’ crowded rosters, and we’ve come up with even more speculative guesses.

CHINGY
DISTRESSING DATA: Last year’s Hoodstar was the worst-selling album of his career, just missing the one-million mark (at least according to these Soundscan stats on his Wiki page).
ODDS OF SURVIVING ON LABEL: He seems like a nice enough young man. Why not? 4-1

THE DANDY WARHOLS
DISTRESSING DATA: Anecdotal evidence suggests that the band’s 2005 album Odditorium or Warlords of Mars sold fewer than two copies.
ODDS OF SURVIVING ON LABEL: In order to stay on a label, somebody’s got to really like you, yeah, they got to really like you. 30-1

LIZ PHAIR
DISTRESSING DATA: Her fanbase is split between old fans who believe she sold her soul to the devil, and new fans who think she’s Avril Lavgine’s mom. Either way, neither group is buying her records.
ODDS OF SURVIVING ON LABEL: Please. 50-1

D’ANGELO
DISTRESSING DATA: His last album was released seven years ago, and recent photos suggest he won’t be able to charm his way into the label’s good graces by parading around shirtless.
ODDS OF SURVIVING ON LABEL: They won’t even know how to find him. EVEN

idolator
  • PengIn

    I really like Odditorium, but I could see how a major interested in things like radio play and sales would not.

  • NedRaggett

    The Dandys always seem to have bigger crowds in Europe anyway, and if Dig! was any indication (along with their website) they were smart enough to use some of the major label money to anchor down a studio of their own in Portland and just do what they want from here on in. They’ll sign to some label over there, get licensed every so often over here, get nice houses if they haven’t already and live to a ripe old age. (Then Anton will hunt them down.)

  • dollywould

    Damn, D’Angelo. Paging Celebrity Fit Club… Liz is still pretty rockin’ live, but the Avril’s mom comment was spot-on.

  • TQuid

    Like Mr. Ragget, I assumed that the Dandy’s were living off of — and still on a major label — because of their non-US sales. Could the masters-of-music-info at Idolator get the skinny on the group’s foreign sales?

  • johndavidson

    Liz Phair gives a label cred? How, exactly? “Guyville” came out almost 15 years ago. Nobody hires the Matrix and pimps an album with millions of marketing dollars with “cred” to fall back on. And that’s why “Somebody’s Miracle” TANKED. Nobody seriously considers Phair a feather in the label cap. Phair, like Shelby Lynne, is a pretty woman that Andy Slater was enamored with. He didn’t do shit with either of them and they are exactly the type of artist that a major label circa 2007 has no interest in keeping.

  • Anonymous

    You gotta know that Ras Kass is actually hoping to get dropped. Priority/Capitol fucked him over for years.

  • coolfer

    is courtney love still signed to virgin? what about we are scientists? they have a new album coming up.

    liz phair is the type of artist that labels hold on to for cred (see sonic youth, lou reed). she’s got better odds than you think.

  • pinder

    My money’s on Marjorie Fair being the first to get the boot.