The Trajectory: Predicting How Long The Police Reunion Will Last Before Someone Turns On A Red Light

Jan 30th, 2007 // 6 Comments

From time to time, Idolator foretells the future with The Trajectory(TM), in which we chronicle an important musical event before it even occurs. After the click-through, our predictions for the Police reunion, which will start with a Grammy-opening performance on Feb. 11:

May 26 – A 45-city tour kicks off in Philadelphia, and almost immediately, old rifts begin to flare up: When Summers flubs his “de da da da” line, Sting chides him on stage for committing “a do do do don’t.”

June 4 - For the third night in a row, Stewart Copeland floats the idea of “doing this one Animal Logic number, just to see how it works,” necessitating separate tour buses.

June 14 - The Police play the Bonaroo festival, which–much to Sting’s dismay–has nothing to due with ruing Bono.

June 23 - The band attempts to scale down production costs by limiting the number of sleeveless T-shirts to three (3) per member.

July 5 - At night, while on the road to Tempe, Ariz., Sting dreams of the blue turtles.

July 24 - The tour ends in Los Angeles, where the band members are feted by such backstage guests as Bob Geldof, David Bowie, and Mr. Peeps, the canary whose life served as the basis for “Canary In A Coalmine.” Afterward, Copeland goes back to Oysterhead, Summers returns to film work, and Sting starts looking around for a clavichord technician who makes house calls.

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  1. PengIn

    I wouldn’t mind another Oysterhead album. No, I’m not kidding.

  2. King of Pants

    I want their jackets.

  3. dollywould

    Last April I went to the screening of “Everybody Stares: The Police Inside Out” at the Arclight in Hollywood. Stewart did a Q&A after the screening, and Andy was in the audience as well. When asked if there’d ever be a Police reunion, the answer was NO. But, hey, money is nice. I’m actually kind of excited. I don’t like Sting on his own, but I love The Police. Plus, Stewart is pretty hot for an old dude.

  4. Signal to Noise

    I have no problem with the itinerary so long as Copeland and Summers break a lute if it comes within fifty feet of the stage.

  5. prolixrush

    I’m hoping Stewart punches Sting in the face – while they’re onstage – at some point on this tour. Also, in this dream, he’d be sporting some tiny shorts like the ones from the “Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic” video. Because you know Stewart loved to wear tiny shorts. Makes the drumming easier.

  6. 420pwnd

    oysterhead definetly needs to make a new album. it surprised me how killer it was & definetly trey, les & stewart are a rare force to be reckoned with. heck even a new police album would be good. i’m getting tired of hearing the same old schlok daily.

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