Rock And Roll Road-Tripping Just Got A Whole Lot Easier, Stupider

Feb 15th, 2007 // 6 Comments

Someone over at the Chicago Reader must have done a power search for the terms “emo” and “big black monster,” because they tracked down this rather amazing eBay item: A 2005 Ford F-550 Crew Cab Powerstroke that doubles as a full-service concert stage. Previously owned by Warped Tour act the Picket Line, the “Big Black Monster” is described as the “ultimate rock band tour truck/van,” but it sounds more like the ultimate drunken-fratboy pranking device:

I designed and own the truck and I am selling it to who ever wishes to get instant rock fame with this truck. The truck is designed as a ambush style rock concert. When you roll up in the truck and in less then 15 seconds you can rock out a crowd with 20,000 watts of live music and 20 seconds to break down and leave the scene of the crash. It comes as a fully self-contained rock concert with everything a band can ask for…[Ed. note: We're not even going to try and list all this equipment, as we have no idea what it does, but there is a fog machine involved]. This is the real deal for instant rock fame…

One can only imagine what it would be like to load this thing up with a five-piece band, park it at every random event imaginable (state-department funerals, NA meetings), and continually play Smash Mouth’s “All Star” until being put down by police sniper fire. That’s the dream.

Four wheels, 12,634 miles, and 20,000 watts [Chicago Reader]
2005 Ford [eBay]

idolator

  1. King of Pants

    The sniper fire line makes it.

  2. Ned Raggett

    So that’s what happened to Picketline. Reviewed the album last year for the AMG, thought it was all right for a debut from a bunch of Tool freaks. Now if you go to their myspace page, half the comments are spam.

  3. beta.rogan

    Nothing like black text on a black background to make your Myspace page user-friendly.

  4. Maulleigh

    It needs a fold-down bed for the groupies. And I hope they make it comfortable. My back is still killing me from the mid-nineties.

  5. xtianrut

    That thing is so MacGyver and A-Team all in one breath. Whoo man, am I dating myself here…

  6. Reidicus

    Now THIS is perfect for those four or five unfortunate bands who don’t get on the official SXSW program. (And THEN send me news releases about the stir they caused on E. 6th. Guys, there are 1,000+ bands who actually made it in-is crashing the party really a badge of honor?)

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