Tila Tequila To Engage In The Ultimate Test Of Her MySpace Friends’ Loyalty

Feb 22nd, 2007 // 15 Comments

tila.jpgRemember Tila Tequila, the most popular MySpace “musician” among the lad-mag set? Well, her first single comes out on Tuesday, and she’s ready to see who her real friends are:

Right now everyone, as far as the music industry is concerned, is saying that (and I quote straight from them) “TILA TEQUILA WILL NOT SUCCEED DOING THIS ON HER OWN! JUST BECAUSE SHE HAS 1.7 MILLION FRIENDS ON HER PAGE DOESN’T MEAN THEY ARE GOING TO SUPPORT HER!” And that really makes me mad! What do they know about my connection with you guys? I’ve known you for almost 4 years now and you’re more like my friend! How dare they make judgment on me? So right now I need your help more then ever as my friend!! I need your help to prove the music industry people wrong and I want to make history. No unsigned artist in HISTORY has EVER, EVER made it on the Billboard top 20 charts for the first week sales. With your help…

“I WANT TO BECOME FIRST PERSON IN HISTORY EVER TO BE THE FIRST UNSIGNED ARTIST TO LAND ON THE TOP 20 BILLBOARD CHARTS! HELL…EVEN MAKE #1!!!”

That would be monumental and will be down in history forever! But I need your help! If you want to be a part of making history happen…all you have to do is help me spread the word about the “TILA TEQUILA MOVEMENT” and try to get as many people possible to buy my single for $0.99 cents! That’s why I made it so cheap cuz it’s more about the movement…not the money…We can make history together! If this works….I can go on Oprah and Larry King Live and tell the world how my friends on myspace helped me make history and how this will be a new future trend for the rest of the artists out there who want to make it on their own! This will be a story nobody will ever forget and it all starts with you! So please join me in the new revolution and set aside .99 cents for me to start history starting Feb. 27th on Itunes! So now I leave it all in your hands to decide whether or not you want to help me make history, and hopefully…you’re answer is yes!

It’ll be an interesting test, that’s for sure: Can someone who has, at last count, 1,682,313 so-called “friends” get 10% of them to shell out a measly buck in order to make a point? (Fall Out Boy’s “This Ain’t A Scene, It’s An Arms Race” had a No. 2 debut on the Billboard Hot 100 a few weeks back, and that was in large part because the digital single sold 162,000 copies.) We’ll be watching this when the track does on sale next week, but we do have to give her credit for one smart move: Given the fact that so much of her offline publicity has been accompanied by cheesecake shots, bundling a video in with a purchase of the song was a genius move.

THE CONTROVERSIAL TILA TEQUILA MOVEMENT!!!! [Tila Tequila's MySpace blog, via The Velvet Rope]
Tila Tequila [MySpace]

  1. brasstax

    I don’t know, that song’s pretty bad (and she’s obviously not considering radio play, otherwise it would be just one 3 minute bleep with occasional bits of music here and there).

  2. DavidWatts

    Boobs have talked men into more questionable decisions, tit’s. . .er, it’s true. See “The Life of Anna Nicole Smith” for future reference.

  3. Cam/ron

    As my Iraq War vet cousin would say: “A hard dick has no conscience.”

  4. Hallux Valgus

    “…buy my single for $0.99 cents! That’s why I made it so cheap…”

    um, how much are the itunes singles for artists who are about the money? Oh that’s right- $0.99 cents. Thanks for looking out, Tila Tequila!

  5. Jude

    I agree with Peter Tomarken’s rotting corpse!

  6. The HZA. [member of the zombie nation]

    Ugh. I hate Tila.

    If I had to actually subject myself to a MySpace musical artist I’d pick either Hollywood Undead (because scene rappers are HILARIOUS) or Jeffree Star for camp factor.


    Tila is such a ho. Remember when she was on Ted Nugent’s reality tv show?

  7. pchc_lx

    Is the bit about no unsigned artist breaking the charts accurate? I wouldn’t be surprised if she does pretty well, though I’m not sure if her music can deliver – as mentioned above, there’s a bit of an issue with radio-friendliness.

    Maybe she should give James a call, tack it on as a bonus track on Sound Of Silver and make everyone happy…

  8. gregor

    its moments and times like these that i wish i was amish or was born in the 20′s. i cant take it anymore, seriously.

  9. gorillavsmarykate

    It would be kinda interesting though to see Doug Morris melt, because you know that seeing an unsigned person make it because of myspace would cause him to implode with the sound a thousand screaming half-aborted cheetahs. Which I imagine is what this song sounds like…

  10. Hyman Decent

    What do they know about my connection with you guys? I’ve known you for almost 4 years now and you’re more like my friend!

    Ugh. That reminds me of the time the guitarist of a band (who shall remain nameless to preserve my dignity) said during a radio interview that fans such as I who traveled far to attend the band’s shows were the band’s friends. Which, of course, was bullshit. Well-meaning bullshit, but bullshit nonetheless.

  11. rad_matter

    I actually am one of Tila’s 1.7 million (or whatever) friends. I would buy this single for Tila…if she wasn’t selling the album independently because of her lack of musical ability. But I still love Tila!

  12. rad_matter

    @rad_matter: Urgh, I meant single. Also the album when it comes out, but right now, the single.

  13. IvyLeagueMetalhead

    Wow, she typed in all caps and put three exclamation points after her plea. She must REALLY MEAN IT!!!

    *Sigh* Shit makes my head hurt.

  14. Anonymous

    She ain’t no friend of mine.

  15. BawstonSean

    i’m gonna guess this tune sounds like a thousand fully-aborted cheetahs screaming.

    i’m just saying.

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