Cat Scratch Fever: Your Guide To “The Search For The Next Doll”

Mar 14th, 2007 // 12 Comments

Last night, America was graced by another episode of the CW’s Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Next Doll, the new reality show in which a group of amateur back-up dancers vie for the chance to be professional back-up dancers. Our guide to the ass-centric second installment after the click-through, and it starts with a truly gonzo–but not inaccurate–episode title.

Highlights from Episode 2: “The women dance in a glass box”:

- The girls move into their house, which includes a giant dance room, oversized posters of the Pussycat Dolls, and a shriekatorium.

- Pussycat Dolls member Jessica brings the girls flowers, and some advice: Be confident! Also, don’t blow your hot-pants budget all at once.

- During dance rehearsal, Chelsea is admonished for too much bopping, not enough popping.

- Chelsea totally thinks that Melissa S is being, like, fake? But then, ohmigod, Jamie thinks Mariela and Asia are her BFF! Everyone’s thinking things about other things!

- Dance instructor Mikey minces wildly around the studio, shrieks hysterically, and wears giant frilly scarves. This guy is so lucky! How do they keep him from hitting on all the girls?

- The girls go to a Los Angeles nightclub, where they watch women dance behind giant glass panes in the middle of a room–all, of course, in the name of learning confidence.

- When the girls realize that it’s their turn perform in the Bunderdome, Melissa R wonders what will happen if her priest sees her dancing in a skimpy costume, not realizing that no man over the age of fifty even knows that the CW exists.

- Lil’ Kim and Geffen Records chairman Ron Fair help to judge the final round, in which the girls break up into groups to sing and dance. Melissa S is the only 24-year-old woman from Michigan not to know the lyrics to “Crazy In Love.”

- Melissa S (the fake one) and Brittany (the Brittany one) are nearly cut during the elimination round. Once Brittany’s name is called, she’s told to hang up her giant pink boa and leave.

Cat Scratch Fever [Archive]

  1. Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit sniffing glue

    You forgot to mention two things: confidence, confidence, confidence; and that the Pussycat Dolls are sexy but classy.

    I can’t believe I watched that show last night. I need less free time.

  2. bnb614

    I hope the girl who in the back row with her leg straight up in the air wins it all. Let’s face it, that is more talent than any of the current Dolls posess.

  3. beta.rogan

    I wonder if they held auditions for this show at strip clubs?

  4. Nicolars


    No, strip clubs would probably be too classy. I’m thinking the producers just trolled some amateur porn sites.

  5. Hyman Decent

    I’d hit those.

  6. 30f

    Gee, those young girls seem to have a LOT to learn. Maybe if they could find a mentor. Say someone at the label. A very high ranking person at the label could probably give them some attention. Some very up close and personal attenion that might make their career really take off.

  7. Pete the Chop

    And already it’s getting better ratings than “Veronica Mars.” Which, true, isn’t too difficult, but still. I’m depressed.

  8. Hallux Valgus

    the confessionals on this show are fantastic.
    “And she’s all, Hi! Hi! Na na na na na na na”

    ugh, but I can’t get the vapid moron accent through when I’m typing

  9. The HZA. [member of the zombie nation]

    Why does that phrase “ho fo’ show” keep running in circles in my head whenever the PCD is mentioned?

  10. FionaScrapple

    In the future, everyone will disgrace their ancestors for 15 minutes.

  11. Kurt Gottschalk

    HEY! where’s this week’s update? Come on, Sesily or however she spells it does Pat Benatar? You can’t ignore this, can you?

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