Last night’s top-12 American Idol elimination was a hurried, relatively drama-deprived affair: The contestants put on their cheesy medley shoes, Diana Ross was nearly out-performed by her own poofy pink shawl, and in the end, a contestant who never had a chance begin with was dismissed.
WHO’S OUT: While Phil and Sanjaya landed in the bottom three, it was Brandon “The Background Singer” Rogers who got his walking papers. Of course, his smooth-to-the-point-of-bland voice marked him from elimination from the very beginning; but Tuesday night’s lyrical faux pas sealed the deal, and a resigned Rogers took it like a man.
WHO’S (INEXPLICABLY) IN: Sanjaya. Just how bad do you have to butcher a Supremes song to get eliminated from this thing? He was off-pitch and at times quieter than the back-up singers, and yet they still won’t set him free. Is it the hair?
WHO’S SINGING A SUPREMES MEDLEY: Everyone! The gang transitioned from “Where Did Our Love Go” to “Baby Love” to “Stop! In the Name of Love,” and it was a little bit like a high school pop-choir program with Brady Bunch Variety Show choreography. Appropriately, they ended the whole number with “Stop!”, complete with corresponding hand motion.
WHICH FOX TV STARS ARE FORCED TO ATTEND: Anita Barone and Michael Rapaport of The War at Home.
WAIT, WHAT?: Ford sponsored a music video in which the contestants sang Modest Mouse’s “Float On.” Sure, why not? But get this: They’re performing it while dressed in clothes from the ’60s, ’70s, and ’80s. And while walking like zombies. Plus, they completely missed the boat on Isaac Brock’s growly screech, though Chris Sligh–in a huge afro wig–came the closest.
BUY DIANA’S NEW CD: Ms. Ross’s rendition of “More Today than Yesterday” from her new album, I Love You, was fine, if not a little disappointingly unremarkable. Her big pink tulle shawl looked fabulous in the dramatic, backlit entrance, but it slowly slipped off her arms, into her right hand, behind her back, and eventually down onto the floor, lying there like some sort of lifeless Muppet for the second half of the performance. Afterwards, Diana dropped her final nugget of sunshine into the American Idol universe: “This entire show is such an inspiration to all American young kids out there.” Yeah, to the future advertising executives, maybe.
PAULA ABDUL OUT-OF-IT SCALE: N/A. Absolutely no commentary from the judges tonight. She seemed pretty lively during Diana’s performance, though.