“I’m From Rolling Stone”: At Last, We Have A Wenner

After more than two months of low-rated broadcasts and irresponsible cancellation rumors, MTV’s I’m From Rolling Stone–the show that Ralph Gleason and Hunter S. Thompson silently, angrily watch from a sports bar in heaven–was put to rest last night with a two-part finale. Intern Kate Richardson stayed up late enough to survey the damage and to gasp aloud when the show’s winning contestant was unveiled.

By the way, if you were working at the Rolling Stone offices during filming–or better yet, if you’re one of the contestants–drop us an anonymous line at tips@idolator.com. Now that it’s over, we’d love to hear how it really went down.

Highlights from Episode 109: “National Lampoon”

-With just two weeks to go in the competition, the interns are assigned individual national-affairs stories–the sort of deep-rooted, in-depth pieces that normally takes weeks, or even months, to develop–and pull them together in just a matter of days!

-While the other writers chip away at the PR departments of multi-conglomerate pollutants, Krystal declares the whole assignment a “waste of [her] time” and “boring” as she stares longingly at her invitation to Victoria’s Secret’s “Pink Pajama Party” at Pier 54.

-In the first of a series of awkward conversations in this episode, Krystal visits national affairs editor Eric Bates and tells him she has no interest in doing her story: “To be really honest,” she says, “the reason I went to college is so I wouldn’t have to focus on this stuff.” Anyone who can decipher that logic gets a Rolling Stones keychain and a date with Slug from Atmosphere.

-Krystal walks the red carpet at the Victoria’s Secret pajama party as “Krystal Jagger,” posing for pictures that are probably still sitting un-uploaded on some photographer’s memory card.

– While researching a story on Tyson’s environmental problems, Krishtine conducts a phone Q&A with a chicken activist, and silently mocks her by abandoning the interview completely to get up and take a bite of Pete’s chicken-based lunch.

– Krishtine then heads to Kentucky, where she visits the home of an anti-Tyson activist, and finally starts to grasp that the story is about more than just “crazy chicken ladies.”

– Meanwhile, Krystal blows off her story to attend Paris Hilton’s record-release party, where she stands within ass-kissing distance of Kathy Hilton, and then proceeds suck up to Paris for an excruciating thirty seconds:

Krystal: And I love the Simple Life! Paris: Thank you, it’s fun. Krystal: I wish I was on it with you! Paris: Bye everybody!

-In the end, Peter, Krishtine, Colin, and Tika’s stories were published on rollingstone.com. Russell–who was banned from traveling, thanks to his past moronicities–was not able to cover his story in person, and never got it published. And, most importantly, “Krystal never wrote about her experiences on the red carpet.”

Most annoying intern of the episode: Krystal. The sheer maniacal pleasure she seems to derive from empty and incredibly fleeting media attention at D-list events is almost indescribably repulsive. Least annoying intern of the episode: Peter, who seemed dedicated to his story from the get-go and called bullshit on Krishtine’s antics during her phone interview. Episode grade, on a Rolling Stone-like scale of three stars to three-and-a-half stars: Three stars Jann’s beard growth, on a scale of 1 to 10: This was but the extended intro to the arrival of Jann’s beard. It approaches and its appearance is nigh.

Episode 110: “Rolling Stone or Rolling Home”

– Pete visits Jann (and his beard!) about future internship opportunities at Rolling Stone.

– Cut to a montage of interns getting ready and reflecting on their chances. Despite admitting earlier in the episode that she didn’t get much of anything published and that she is generally uninterested in the profession, Krystal suddenly claims, “If I don’t get this, I’ll be incredibly upset.”

– Russell, appropriately, shows up late on announcement day. You can’t teach an old dawg new tricks.

– Jann meets with Joe Levy and the other top editors to discuss the decision. Their assessments are as follows: Colin is a nice kid, but under-prepared; Pete is a good interviewer but an inexperienced writer; Krystal had the most enthusiasm at the start but, as it turns out, completely lacks the talent or will to be a journalist (or, as Jann so delicately puts it, “she’s too much of a…not a groupie, but…”); Russell broke Joe Levy’s heart by “disrespecting his [own] talent”; Jann was put off by Krishtine’s arrogance at first, but her knowledge of hip-hop has come in handy; Tika started off strong but lost steam.

-Announcement time! Jann and Joe give evaluations to each contestant in order of their irrelevance: Krystal, Colin, Russell, Tika, and then down to Pete and Krishtine, the top two. And the winner is…

-Krishtine, much to the chagrin of the extremely limited I’m From Rolling Stone Internet community. Who knows? Maybe she’ll turn out some good work. Or maybe they’ll burn out her contractually guaranteed one-year contributing-editor gig by having her to a phoner with Bun B before sending her off to the magazine’s newly created Alaska bureau.

– And so where are they now? Pete is an editorial assistant for Men’s Journal, and is bartending in New York (anyone know where?); Tika is freelancing at a magazine called Dapper; Russell is disappointing people over at New America Media in San Francisco; Krystal “is in Salinas, CA working as an editor-at-large for The Ping Pong Literary Journal at The Henry Miller Library,” whatever that means; Colin is in his junior year at USC; and Krishtine has just started her job at Rolling Stone.

Most annoying intern of the show: Krishtine and Krystal split this bill, taking roughly the first half and second half respectively. Russell had his moments, but even his most irritating antics got boring by the end. Least annoying intern of the show: Peter. Despite his alleged mediocre writing skills and love for booze, he was the most mature, responsible, and hard-working of the lot. Episode grade, on a Rolling Stone-like scale of three stars to three-and-a-half stars: Three stars Jann’s beard growth, on a scale of 1 to 10: 4. Healthy, but too tastefully manicured. After all this time, we deserved a mountain-man growth–or at least some sort of AJ McLean-style theatrics.