Get In The Q: We Read The British Music Magazines, So You Don’t Have To

Mar 20th, 2007 // 6 Comments

Once again, we save you precious time (2.5 hours) and money ($27.74) by surveying the latest issues of the big British music magazines: Q, Uncut and Mojo. After the click-through, our handy consumer’s guide.

uncutmoon.jpgUncut
Cover: Keith Moon
Centerpiece Feature: Moon’s friends and bandmates remember all the crazy shit he did.
Highlights: An obituary of overlooked songwriter Dennis Linde; an oral history of Madness’ “Our House.”
Lowlights: We still can’t understand why Uncut uses up valuable feature-well space to reprint “classic” stories that are only a few years old. What’s the point of running a Robert Smith interview from 2004? To see if his hair looked any less spiky back then?
The Arcade Fire album: Will it save us all?: Maybe! (Three stars)
The “Whosit’s Doing What Now?” Award For Most Prominently Featured British Celebrity We’ve Never Heard Of: Russell Brand

qsnow.jpgQ
Cover: Some guy from Snow Patrol. Nigel something? Ian? Louie?
Centerpiece Feature: “The 100 Greatest Singers & Their 1000 Greatest Songs,” a.k.a. “The 100 older artists who we bank on to sell magazines, and the photos of them that we’re running for the 1000th time.”
Highlight/Lowlights: When the best you can do is Q&As with Gary Lightbody and Joss Stone, your highlights and lowlights merge together to form one big, white, blinding dervish of mediocrity.
The Arcade Fire album: Will it save us all?: Of course! (Five stars)
The “Whosit’s Doing What Now?” Award For Most Prominently Featured British Celebrity We’ve Never Heard Of: Russell Watson

mojoiggy.jpgMojo
Cover: Iggy Pop
Centerpiece Feature: The Stooges: Will any other album this year get so many fawning features, and yet so few positive reviews?
Highlights: A Ron Wood Q&A, in which he talks about being near-knifed by Keith Richards (though come to think of it, every Q&A subject in Mojo in the last year has probably had the same problem); a feature on newly resurgent ’60s folikes Pentangle.
Lowlights: The article on Genesis’ mid-’80s heyday is way too short–why skip over the Invisible Touch years? We want to know what happened to that Bruce Springsteen puppet!
The Arcade Fire album: Will it save us all?: Probably! (Four stars)
The “Whosit’s Doing What Now?” Award For Most Prominently Featured British Celebrity We’ve Never Heard Of: Sergio “Russell” Pizzorno

  1. rinjonjori

    What happened to NME? the tiger beat of britian

  2. MC

    How’s that Stooges bonus CD with Mojo? Better than “The Weirdness”?

  3. Jupiter8

    The worst thing about those free Mojo cds is the booger-like substance that binds them to the cover…

  4. blobby

    I had never thought of Pentangle as “folikes” before…..

  5. Amphiuma

    I concur with Jupiter 8 about the creepy gum one encounters with every issue of Mojo. I always feel like I’m in a remake of The Blob, and I have to sleep with the lights on, lest the noisome goo come alive and eat my flesh while I’m reading about Paul Weller or Roy Harper or some such. I feel your pain, Jupiter 8….

  6. SongbyToad

    The reason you’ve never heard of Russell Brand is because he is a talentless, unmitigated arse who is about as enjoyable to watch as it is to try and shit a glass pineapple. Be very, very grateful and pray it stays that way as long as possible!

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