Special Guest Columnist: Weasel, The Puppy Born Without Ears, Is Alive And Well

Mar 23rd, 2007 // 7 Comments

weasel.jpgFrom time to time, Idolator solicits commentaries from the general public. And once again, we’re briefly turning the site over to Weasel, the puppy born without ears. Weasel has some interesting things to say, and we hope you’ll make him feel right at home.

Hello, I am Weasel, the puppy born without ears.

I have no ears.

And because of this, my pain is normally limited to the crippling embarrassment and shame that I feel whenever I see my fellow puppies barking and howling to one another. “What are they saying?” I think. Even though I really can’t hear myself think that, because of the lack-of-ears bit. Alas.

But this week, my heart whimpers even more than usual, thanks to this poisoned pet food that’s going around. I’ve lost some friends this week, so if it’s okay, I’d like to take a moment to say farewell to Mr. Woofers, Fatso, Chuggles, Apples the Cat, Blimpy, Poop-Poop, and Rex Morgan, M.D.O.G.

Your assassinations will be avenged.

Because of everything that’s been going on, I’ve been spending a lot of time online, which means I’ve been reading the music blogs a lot. And I’ve got a few random peeves to discuss. Sorry if these seem sort of cranky, but what can I say? It’s getting hard out here for a pup, ears or no ears:

- SXSW When did that happen? Last week, you say? Oh, okay. Then could someone explain to me why so many bloggers were publishing some of their updates as late as yesterday? I thought the whole point of Web 2.0 or whatever was to have immediate, you-are-there reporting, not these “hey, here’s a picture of me having a pulled-pork sandwich with the bass tech from Spoon last Saturday!” No wonder the real media still doesn’t take you guys seriously. Let me know when you’re ready to chime in with your opinions of The Phantom Menace.

- Blogger cronyism Yeah, yeah, I get it: You all started as IM friends years ago, back when blogging was cool and secret, and now the big-money companies have un-funned it all up. But wow, you guys seem to blindly stick up for each other no matter what. We all have friends who get criticized or razzed in public, and sometimes it’s mean-spirited and hurtful, but sometimes they deserve it. That’s the way it works! Friends are allowed to argue with each other! If O.J. had a LiveJournal page, you guys would be the first in the comments section to point fingers at Faye Resnick. Just a thought.

- Panda Bear Are you serious? Why don’t you bash me in the head with an out-of-tune shalalee while 1,000 macaws squawk in the background?

Woof,

WTPBWE

  1. GiantPanda

    The Panda Bear album is awesome. The dog has no ears though, I understand. Zing?

    Photographic evidence is not enough, But you have no ears, it’s confirmed, if that is your opinion on the new Panda Bear album. Ziiing?

    More Importantly, can dogs get ass-hiccups?

  2. Apples the Cat

    WEASEL I AM ALIVE AND FAKING MY DEATH AND HIDING IN CUBA!! SHHHHH!
    -APPLES

  3. Apples the Cat

    WEASEL I LIVE!! IN CUBA!

  4. Apples the Cat

    darn double-post.

  5. Ned Raggett

    @GiantPanda: The Panda Bear album is awesome.

    Not as awesome as it could be.

  6. GiantPanda

    Yeah, I’ve read your review. I disagree though (obviously), although it would still be good, taking away the vocals would take its auditory awesomenessive down a few notches on the amazesomenessive sonic scale.


    I’d also like to throw the word magnanimous out there. magnanimous. mag… nanimous.

  7. Friday_Low

    @Hockeydude:
    Looking at that lineup, I am almost convinced that Phoenix will never grow a soul.

Leave A Comment