A text message we received at 9:58 p.m. ET summed up last night’s action-rich, yet filler-packed episode of American Idol:
“Omg the dream is dead.”
WHO’S OUT: Well, we really thought it was going to be time to say goodbye to Lakisha, but Sanjaya bowed out last ight. (He had to have a feeling he was going home, right? The “Life Is Beautiful” T-shirt sort of said it all.) And, to be honest, we felt a few pangs of sadness while the montage about his on-screen Idol career aired, although he fact that his singing wasn’t audible in any of his performance clips probably helped. Anyway, we, like Ryan, would like to give Sanjaya a warm farewell: At last, kid, you can start what will be the most-anticipated blog of all time (at least this week).
MELINDA SITS IN: Is Melinda on the verge of becoming the show’s next breakout “personality”? We sort of hope not, but the “joke” played on her had us worried: The seven remaining contestants were split into two groups, Sanjaya-Lakisha-Blake on one side and Phil-Jordin-Chris on the other. Melinda was then asked to go over to which one she thought was the “safe” group, and she instead… sat on the floor and refused to move. A classy move, to be sure, but we hope that she isn’t wrangled into the center of other gags over the coming weeks.
THE IDOL ZAPRUDER FILM: Here’s hoping that the whole Virginia Tech controversy from Tuesday’s episode was cleared up by the showing of the unedited SimonCam, which was synced to the edited version of that night’s show. Hey Fox: Maybe you should stream that camera live online at the same time as the show? It would be like DiamondCam, except, you know, interesting.
FOR ONCE, WE HAVE TO GIVE PROPS TO PHIL: For confessing to the best musical taste in the bunch, at least this week. He said he was listening to a lot of Willie Nelson during the run-up to country week, although he immediately qualified that by saying that his choice may have been a little “weird.” No, Phil! Trust us, we would tell you if it was. His fellow competitors talked about bumping Fergie (Jordin), Incubus (Blake, of course), Yolanda Adams (Lakisha), Maroon 5 (Chris), and “Jesus music” (Melinda). Also, Sanjaya talked about downloading country and blues, which must have made all the record executives in the audience sweat a little.
WHAT ABOUT MELANIE? Antonio Banderas was in the audience to promote Shrek III: We’re Going To Flog This Green Guy Until He Turns Blue, and when Ryan introduced him, he also awkwardly said, “And your … wife … Melanie.” Sure, her plastic surgeries have left her looking nearly unrecognizable, but come on, Ryan–surely you must have seen Working Girl. Let the river run!
TWO PERFORMANCES, TWO RESULTS: Fergie and Martina McBride were last night’s special guests, although Fergie’s performance was pretaped. It was not, however, corrected to be less crummy, Rubik’s-Cube-looking bracelet on her wrist aside. McBride actually sounded pretty great, although her song reminded us of the hymn “Be Not Afraid,” which was big on the charts during our CCD days.
PAULA ABDUL OUT-OF-IT SCALE: 8/10. They cut to her once, and she was a mess of lip gloss and confusion.
Next week: We liveblog the big two-hour Idol Gives Even More Airtime To Its So-Called “Generous” Sponsors special, featuring Carrie, Kelly, and a duet between “two of the biggest stars in musical history.” Judging by the starpower of this season, we’re going to guess that those two stars will be something like Celine Dion and the lead singer of Hinder, but maybe Fox will prove us wrong.