Knut, There It Is: The World Pays Musical Tribute To The Biggest, Sexiest Polar Bear Of All Time
In a time of government corruption and widespread violence, amateur singer-songwriters from across the globe have all found a common ripped-from-the-headlines muse: Knut, the German polar bear that most people assume is a newborn cub, but who’s actually a full-grown bear whose height was stunted by excessive smoking. There are currently dozens of Knut-knutty videos up on YouTube, many of which are in German, and all of which feature footage of Knut doing some stupid random task–but doing it adorably. Our guide after the click-through.
Kitty & Knut – “Knut Der Kleine Eisbär” One of the most popular Knut-related YouTube clips making the rounds, “Knut Der Kleine Eisbär” is a straightforward children’s sing-along, one that probably drives German adults even more crazy than usual. This karaoke-ready clip features all the lyrics, not to mention numerous shots of full-frontal frolicness; it’s a fine song, but we have to ask: Where is the passion? B+
90 Grad & Milena – “Kleiner Eisbär” What begins as a simple, joyful greeting–“Hallo, Knut!”–turns into a Euro-pop dance track, complete with synthesizer jabs and heavy-on-the-effects vocals. Weird to think that someone, somewhere, has possibly made out to this. Possibly with a bear. C+
Unknown Artist – Der Knut Song 2 You know you’ve made it when your immortalized in a quickly executed, flash-animation dance video. It looks as though Knut is supposed to breakdancing here, but it actually looks as though he’s being jerkily drawn and quartered. As for the track, let’s just say it’s one part Jabba The Hutt house band, one part Justice. B Knut Song – Sad Baby Knut A sparse acoustic number that never bothers with a bridge, and that leaves non-German speakers with so many questions: Why is Knut sad? Why does this look like a Zoloft ad? Did he just say “CNN”? D