Idolator Charts The Artists Of Today That You’ll Be Sick Of Hearing About By Tomorrow

May 11th, 2007 // 6 Comments

winehouse.jpg(Ed. note: Once again, we present “Indecent Exposure,” a ranking of the artists who are receiving the most dangerously high levels of popular-culture exposure. It’s an anecdotal chart that takes into account such factors as media appearances, blog hype, playing-in-the-background bar music, and overheard subway conversations, and it is 100 percent statistically sound.)

INDECENT EXPOSURE CHART: 4/30/07
ARTIST WEEKS ON CHART LAST WEEK DAYS UNTIL BACKLASH
1. AMY WINEHOUSE 1 17 11 2
2. BLINKY, PARIS HILTON’S FUTURE CELLMATE, WHO IS SERIOUSLY GONNA FUCK THAT GIRL UP N/A N/A
3. DAVID BOWIE 2,491,276 N/A 1
4. DAN DEACON 2 N/A N/A 15
5. BJORK 75 6 -1
6. FEIST 14 22 4
7. NE-YO 15 2 ASK THIS GUY
8. NICOLAS SARKOZY 20 5 -1
9. PHIL SPECTOR 73 24 1962
10. THE ARCADE FIRE 3 RE-ENTRY 432 ???

1 = cross-over audience now fifty percent KCRW, fifty percent KRS-One
2 = sounds like the name of one of those children’s-rock performers, but is not
3 = do you guys have any opinions about them?

Yet another week of big re-entries on the chart, with AMY WINEHOUSE shooting all the way back to No. 1, thanks to a string of New York City shows and the release of her new midriff; also making a comeback are such audience-dividing entities as THE ARCADE FIRE, PHIl SPECTOR and WEALTHY FRENCH CONSERVATIVES. Meanwhile, a “Best New Music” glow on Pitchfork helps Baltimore’s own DAN DEACON make an impressive debut–but it’s not enough to fend off DAVID BOWIE, whose High Line Festival garnered him big magazine coverage, proving that no one can keep the press’ interest quite like Mr. Jones. Finally, a retraction from our last installment: We had NORA, THAT CAT ON YOUTUBE WITH THE PIANO at No. 3, when she really should have been No. 412. Sorry for the bad tabby-ulation!!

  1. Bjork Rhymes With Pork

    I can’t be the only person who reads this feature who doesn’t understand what the fuck is going on, right?

  2. Bob Loblaw

    @Bjork Rhymes With Pork: Just relax, and give in to its arbitary charms. This is one of my favorite features.

  3. Xenu

    @Bjork Rhymes With Pork: Actually, I think that, in Icelandic, Björk rhymes with “work.” (Or “jerk.”)

    But yeah, let the Björk backlash flow forth! Where I would once wax poetic on the merits of “Jóga” and “Hyper-Ballad,” I now join in the running joke with one of my coworkers who went to Coachella and left in the middle of her set, where we propose the most absurd Björkesque song themes in Icelandic accents: This is a song about the glory of pelvic spasms, and also about otters getting a divorce…

  4. drjimmy11

    Amy Winehouse: for those who find Kid Rock just a little too genuine.

  5. Lew

    It’s refreshing to watch performers who like performing drunk. If you combined Amy Winehouse’s and Lily Allen’s backstage riders, I bet it would rival the bar stock of The Rolling Stones in their prime.

    *hic*

  6. CHUTUP!

    I can’t wait until photos of a drunken Amy Winehouse exiting a limo and accidentally flashing her dick show up online.

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