Rick Rubin Prepares Takeover Of Entire Music Industry

May 15th, 2007 // 6 Comments

rick%20rubinnn.jpegYesterday, Columbia Records announced that it had finalized its deal to bring producer Rick Rubin into the fold. As Billboard notes, Rubin doesn’t have an official title at the label–weirdly, “Swami” was already taken–and he’ll also be able to continue working his other projects at other labels. But a leaked memo that’s been making the rounds has clues as to what Rubin’s been planning to do with his new power.

The undated email, published below, was sent over the weekend to Sony Music head Rob Stringer; we cannot vouch for its authenticity:

rob–

toodles. talked to [REDACTED], sounds like we’re in the clear. everything’s signed. announce it however you want.

i know we spoke about this already, but im really sorry about danzig calling. he can be a sensitive little bear at times. he feels bad, and promises to rsscue your soul from the third chamber of devilspawn. i really thats just a sports metaphor anyway.

anyway, a few ideas below. a lot of “maybe we can get your friends to be with my friends and do this every weekend” stuff: i will just throw the ideas out there and hope you can choose the right projects using your inner light. or assistants. whatever:

-dixies/wolfsbane duet: natalie’s into it; as for song, lots of ideas, but rr partial to “lifes a lemon, i want my money back,” only less show-offy

-”petty covers petty” album. still think this could work; never been done before. how amazing would it would be to hear tom petty, with a full backing band, play songs like “american girl” or “free fallin’”?

-Limahl–any word? will he meet?

-”blood sugar sax magick” – johnny colla’s not returning rr’s call-as.

-something something ray combs.

thats it for now. let me know when that expense thing comes through for the office, i have two makos here and rr def. needs his makos to have all-saltwater, all the time

toodles,

rr

  1. MTS

    A leaked memo containing a Danzig reference? Could there be anything more Idolator friendly?

    And now we know the reason why the music industry is failing: mako sharks.

  2. NickEddy

    Rick R. should put a surgical mask on with a flag on it and go to a Hallowe’en party as the cover of Amorica.

  3. auddie

    “Limahl”? Like from Kajagoogoo? I smell a comeback tour.

  4. sventurata

    “petty covers petty” album. still think this could work; never been done before.

    It has too been done! “Travelogue,” Joni Mitchell, 2002. The email’s obviously a fake.

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