Bono, Billy Squier Co-Star In Greatest New York “Times” Story Of All Time

Brian Raftery / May 16, 2007

bonopenthouse.jpgIf you do only one thing today–and we mean only one thing, eclipsing all other obligations of hygiene, etc.–you must read this New York Times story regarding a co-op feud between Bono and Billy Squier, which is just about the nuttiest thing we’ve seen in months. We’ll get you started:

Bono, the lead singer of U2 and a globetrotting activist for social causes, has become involved in a battle that may be as intractable as loan burdens in the developing world — a Manhattan co-op dispute.

One of his adversaries is a fellow rocker, Billy Squier, best known for 1980s songs like “The Stroke.” The two live in the San Remo, a storied building with twin towers that loom over Central Park West. (It is the same building that rejected Madonna in 1985 when she sought to buy an apartment.)

The dispute is over whether hazardous smoke from fireplaces, including Mr. Squier’s, is drifting from chimneys into the penthouse duplex where Bono lives with his wife and four children. About a year ago the co-op board banned the use of fireplaces throughout the building, angering fireplace owners, who love a pine-scented blaze in the city as well as their enhanced property values.

But wait, there’s more! Among the story’s other highlights:

- The San Remo is also the home of such celebrities as Steven Spielberg, Steve Martin, Scott Rudin and Annie Hall co-writer Marshall Brickman. Oh, and Mitch Miller.
– Bono bought his pad from Steve Jobs, who “never spent a night in the apartment.”
– “Mr. Squier did not respond to messages left with an assistant seeking comment.”
– Billy Squier has an assistant.
– Brickman, unable to come up with a good joke during his Times interview, calls back with better a quip.
– Billy Squier has an assistant.

Among the Rich, a New Dispute Over Air Rights [NYT]