Conspiracy Theories And Interminable Montages

noah | May 17, 2007 2:10 am
finaltwo.jpg

It’s another male-female final two! It’s the battle of the beatboxer and the 17-year-old pageant chick! Hooray.

WHO’S OUT: As we mentioned last night, Melinda is going home, thus giving adrenaline-deprived viewers the chance to be “shocked” before the finale. But did she know about her fate? Melinda looked scared when they cut to her at the beginning of the show, and when she was being quizzed by Ryan before her first homecoming montage rolled–then, when Ryan teased a commercial break by saying “Melinda goes home,” it seemed like he was almost going to correct himself, and he even frowned at the teleprompter. You can bet that the conspiracy theories will be flying around through next week. (Our favorite? The fact that the Country Music Association Awards Academy of Country Music Awards were on against Idol Tuesday night, thus depriving Melinda of some crucial hometown votes.)

MONTAGE MANIA: If we talk at all about the “homecoming” montages, we’re going to put ourselves to sleep (hey, Simon looked like he was about to doze off, too). They had the obligatory screaming crowds, and local Fox affiliate tie-ins (the station in Arizona even showed a low-speed chase involving Jordin’s limo), and touching moments with friends and family.

DOUBLE YOUR GUESTS: So we missed the album by last year’s third-place finisher, Elliott Yamin, but the song he performed last night actually wasn’t bad, in an Usher knock-off way. His performance came off a bit better than Maroon 5, whose pitch-shifting of “Make Me Wonder” apparently threw off Adam Levine, as he was flat for the bulk of the song. A total disappointment, since the song is en route to being stuck in our “Summer Jams Of ’07” playlist, but we’re guessing that Blake felt even worse, since he had to actually be on pitch (well, sort of, anyway) during his Maroon 5 performance on Tuesday.

SO WHO’S GOING TO WIN? We have no idea. It could be Blake, because of his fervent teenage-girl supporters; it could be Jordin, since she apparently came in first this week, showing that voters aren’t really thinking about things like pitch when they dial or text in.

PAULA ABDUL OUT-OF-IT SCALE: 9/10. While she didn’t quite reach the heights of her short, strange trip with Jimmy Kimmel, the tears that she apparently shed during Yamin’s performance gave her face a wet glow that only heightened the crazy given off by her leopard-print sheath.

American Idol [americanidol.com] Earlier: Idolator’s American Idolatry archives [Photo via rickey.org]

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