Wacky Radio DJs: Share Your War Stories

May 24th, 2007 // 14 Comments

Yesterday, we received an email in our tips inbox with a subject line that couldn’t be ignored. It was short and to the point, and it had us at the very first grammatical misfire: “Who’s @$$,” it asked, “Is Fat???”

How could we not investigate further?

As it turns out, the email blast was from a radio “personality” named Jackson Blue, who appears on Boston’s KISS 108-FM, and who apparently just hosted a concert with Lady Sovereign and Perez Hilton. After watching the enclosed YouTube clip–which, oddly enough, occasionally uses the proper form of “whose”–we were taken aback: Have radio DJs really become this crapdragony?

Of course, it’s not news that radio-show jockeys occupy the lowest rungs of society. In fact, according to a 2005 survey, this is where rank in the world’s social hierarchy:

REPUGNACITY RANKING (FROM MOST LOATHSOME TO LEAST LOATHSOME)

1) Dog molesters
2) MORNING RADIO DJs
3) The walking dead
4) Email spammers
5) Phil Spector

So, as you can see, they fit in right between pooch-poppers and zombies, which is just about right (“music bloggers,” by the way, are at No. 11–we beat George Tenet!) But even though radio DJs have been go-to punchlines for a while now, we’ve isolated ourselves so effectively, we had no idea how bad the airwaves had become. Is it like this everywhere? Are all of the country’s big-market stations now staffed by catchphrase-copping fart-shtickers? We usually don’t beg for comments, but we want to know your thoughts, your prayers, your slide-whistle nightmares. Please feel free to share below.

  1. Diglett

    @janine: The one time I ever talked to Flavor Flav, he told me that if I ever saw anyone “try to get all fly with it” and spell it Flava, I was to correct them immediately. I hope you’ll understand my reluctance to risk the consequences of not doing so. Thank you.

    But to the point, this is why I have Sirius.

  2. RepentTokyo

    who listens to terrestrial radio?

  3. Tenno

    The only dj’s I could handle in Las Vegas are the jazz, oldies and public radio ones, and even then the modern ‘extreme’ dj’s from the ‘extreme rock’ station have invaded two of those.

    I hated radio before, but the idea of having to listen to shrill ‘extreme’ wanna-be funny dj’s for 10 minutes before they play 3 songs and then they get back on the mic has resulted in quite a few, actually funny tirades to my car stereo. well the passengers were laughing at least.

    it’s why i avoid radio, because of fucking opinionated wankery. just announce the song, play the whole fucking track, and shut the fuck up.

  4. Brian Raftery

    My friend wrote this story on morning DJs for Entertainment Weekly a few years back. One of my favorite highlights:

    When multiple DJs across the country were asked for the craziest thing ever done in their studio, the following three answers came from three geographically disparate hosts:

    * A woman spraying champagne out of her ”hoohoo.” (WFNX, Boston)

    * A woman spraying Code Red out of her ”hooha.” (KFMA, Tucson, Ariz.)

    * A woman spraying water out of her ”popo.” (Rock 103, Memphis)

    It’s enough to make me long for the relatively subtle stylings of Philadelphia’s WMMR “Morning Zoo,” where, for a while, the crudest they would go was a fake-reggae song called “Donkey Dick.”

  5. Tenno

    * A donkey spraying reggae out of her “pappo.” (Rock 123, Arkansas)

  6. janine

    @oovy: Thanks for that, I’ll remember that whenever I feel like it.

  7. Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee

    @El-Zilcho: Amen.

    There’s a duo on WBCN that’s damn-near the worst thing I’ve ever heard. They go on around 6:00 or 7:00 p.m. One of them plays “the straight man” to the other guy’s supposed marijuana-fueled nuttiness.

    It’s the kind of show that can make a man pray for the onset of a nuclear holocaust. Post haste.

  8. Diglett

    @Brian Raftery: Ok, so when I was like 9 years old, my mom copied my aunt’s copy of the WMMR Morning Zoo compilation album because she could not get enough of “Boys Want Sex in the Morning”. She kept saying something about the beautiful vocal harmonies.

  9. Diglett

    @janine: Don’t mention it (and obviously I’m full of shit).

  10. Brian Raftery

    @oovy: Wow. Your mom had a much higher tolerance for John Debella and his hijinx than mine did.

  11. janine

    @oovy: No matter, no-how… For some reason, I felt like referencing my favorite episode of Strangers with Candy: “I’m sorry we’re late, we came as soon as we felt like it.” Hey, you gotta make yourself laugh first, right?”

  12. cassidy2099

    On last night’s Human Giant one of the skits was about a nuclear holocaust where the only survivors were four people on a morning radio show. It was brutally hilarious.

  13. Lew

    I’m not sure if I’m more offended by the amount of frat boy “dick jokes” on “alternative” and “classic rock” stations here in Detroit, or my utter hatred of obviously white subarbanites trying to sound Black on the “pop” and “R&B” stations; yo.

    I actually listen to high school radio when it comes in clear. It’s rough from a production angle, but at least it comes from the heart.

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