Hapless Baseball Team Shows Fans Its Sad, Sad Playlist

Jun 12th, 2007 // 11 Comments

snipshot_e4su85qka1d.jpgIf there’s one baseball tradition that should be messed with as little as possible, it’s the seventh-inning stretch, when fans can stand up, try to get their last beer of the evening, and belt out “Take Me Out To The Ballgame.” But that’s what the Kansas City Royals–currently trying to stave off their fourth straight 100-loss season–are in the mood to do. In what’s clearly an attempt to distract their fans from more headlines about “rebuilding,” they’ve launched a competition to select their new seventh-inning stretch song. And not to get all Project X, but we have to run down the team’s list of candidates, which not only reads to us like a DJ’s “Un-Super Sweet 16″ playlist, it inadvertently highlights the team’s struggles:

1. “Last Dance” by Donna Summer
2. “Son of a Preacher Man” by Dusty Springfield
3. “Kansas City” by The Beatles
4. “The Limbo”
5. “Cotton Eyed Joe” by Rednex
6. “Ring of Fire” by Johnny Cash
7. “Dancing Queen” by ABBA
8. “Come on Eileen” by Dexy’s Midnight Runners
9. “Shake Your Body (Down to the Ground)” by Michael Jackson
10. “Sweet Caroline” by Neil Diamond

Now, by this time we shouldn’t be surprised by the inclusion of “Sweet Caroline,” which, much to our chagrin, has spread so far and wide, it’s even wiggled into our favorite team’s between-innings entertainment. And “Cotton Eye Joe,” which is a terrible, terrible song, at least has some sports-event traction. But some of these choices are just downright inexplicable–not to mention indicative of the Royals’ sad-sack mentality. “Last Dance”? Are the Royals just trying to say to their fans that they’ve given up, even though there are two and a half innings left? “Shake Your Body (Down To The Ground)” may be a terrific song, but it’s probably not the best choice for a perpetual cellar-dweller. (At least “Bad” wasn’t on the list instead.) And the same could probably be said about “The Limbo” and its call of “How low can you go?”

But the worst choice may be “Ring Of Fire”–and not just because it’s fresh off Applebee’s-shilling duties. Recall the lyrics to the song’s chorus:

I fell in to a burning ring of fire
I went down,down,down
and the flames went higher.
And it burns,burns,burns
the ring of fire
the ring of fire.

Guess we’ll keep seeing those “rebuilding” headlines for a while.

Royals fans choose 7th inning stretch song [royals.mlb.com]

  1. Chris Molanphy

    I also fail to see how a delightful but barely intelligible song about an Irishman in overalls dreaming about his girlfriend’s naked body qualifies as ballpark/family entertainment.

  2. MC

    Yes, the one-two punch of Dancing Queen and Come On Eileen are the most conspicuous to me. Baseball may have more women spectators than the other big 3 sports basketball, football, and hockey, but I can’t imagine these 2 pansy-type songs being broadcast at a sporting event. Methinks the instigator of the list has been watching too many romantic comedies, a la Fever Pitch, and thinks that life should be as simple as a movie soundtrack.

  3. Sauerball

    OOF. This is Gil Meche contract bad.

  4. Vince Neilstein

    What would be even worse is if they started singing “God Bless America” instead. Oh, wait.

  5. Maura Johnston

    @Vince Neilstein: the yankees = not metal

  6. Jupiter8

    If they want a Beatles song, “I’m A Loser” is a much better choice…

    My beloved Mets have started playing that hideous “Sweet Caroline”-ripping off the Red Sox, of all things…

    On the plus side, at a game I went to a month ago they played “Small Town Boy” by Bronski Beat-twice! Maybe there’s something us fans don’t know about David Wright….

  7. TurdsAndWhey

    I would nominate: “The Big Country” by Talking Heads, with the lovely chorus, “I wouldn’t live there if you paid me. I wouldn’t live like that, no siree….” And of course ends with “Goo goo, ga ga ga.”

    If not that song, then “Artists Only” from the same album. If they don’t appreciate the subtlety, then “Loser” by Beck–that would about cover it.

  8. touch the cornballer

    How about “You’re the best around” by Joe Esposito? They could show a nice ol montage on the big screen at the same time…

  9. touch the cornballer

    Oh, and this just means that the Royals have embraced the fact that they are a minor league team.

  10. mellowaim

    Although it would be a dark horse, why not throw a far brighter Neil Diamond track into the ring? Because I know there’s nothing I’d rather here in the middle of a baseball game than “Coming to America”. There wouldn’t be a dry seat in the house.

  11. MetsGrrl

    Whatever they’re smoking, I wish they’d share.

    Even a song by the band Kansas would be better than any of these. I mean, what’s wrong with “Kansas City”? Or something by Chuck Berry? (If you’ll play Gary Glitter at the ballpark, don’t get on your moral high horse abut Chuck Berry).

    don’t the ataris or someone like that have a song about Kansas City?

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