“Kidz Bop” To Hit The Road, America’s Parents To Hit The Bottle

Jun 14th, 2007 // 14 Comments

kbop.jpgHave you ever wondered what it would be like to sit it a sticky-floored ampitheater, watching in terror as an army of moppets scream out the lyrics to Smashmouth’s “All Star” at the top of their lungs? Then you’ll be happy to know that the Kidz Bop franchise is set to hit the road this year, with a live-show tour that will play in more than 80 markets. According to a press release:

Designed as an introduction to a real live rock show experience – in the same kind of kid-friendly environment KIDZ BOP is known for providing – the KIDZ BOP WORLD TOUR features a full band, with vocal duties shared by adults and kids alike. Like the KIDZ BOP brand itself, the KIDZ BOP WORLD TOUR encourages kids to get up and sing and dance along. With local participants, dance contests, video screens and song voting, kids will be the biggest part of the show.

Playing in theaters and small arenas nationwide (full tour schedule to be announced), this is KIDZ BOP’s first full-scale venture into the world of live family entertainment. “There have been few live events geared toward that elusive 6-11-year-old market,” observed Chenfeld and Balsam. “This demo loves the KIDZ BOP CDs, and we are confident that they will embrace this exciting new show.”

Thank goodness that the “6-11-year-old market” will finally get served–those lazy little rugrats were spending too much skipping rope and daydreaming, and not enough time buying merch. We just can’t wait until the Smoking Gun unearths the tour rider, which is sure to stipulate a quarter-keg full of Ssips and “Two (2) alligator-shaped kazoos” per stop.

  1. Ned Raggett

    ‘elusive’

    “THE LITTLE BASTARDS ARE OUT THERE! SHAKE THEM DOWN FOR ALL THEY HAVE!”

  2. Dan Gibson

    Why settle for just watching Kidz Bop live? Why not be one of the Kidz?

    from [newyork.craigslist.org]

    “Male Singer: 20-26 able to move well, dynamic, hip, easy going engaging and in tune with current culture.

    Female Singer: Excellent pop or rock singer, rest same as above.

    6 child singers/dancers 9-13, strong singers who move well (Hip Hop a plus) STrong personalities and lotsa charm too.

    Email us info asap.”

    Someone here must fit one of these roles, no? I’m wondering where the casting notice is for the “overexcited Asian kid”, but maybe they have someone in mind.

  3. rad_matter

    The kids better ask for Magnum condoms on their rider or else.

  4. CaptainPeacockSuit

    I want my Mini Pops back.

  5. mike a

    It’s the

  6. mike a

    It’s the

  7. mike a

    It’s the poor 11-year-olds I really feel sorry for here

  8. mike a

    (Sorry for the triple posting, folks.)

    It’s the poor 11-year-olds that you really have to feel sorry for, having to suffer through “an introduction to the rock show experience” instead of seeing the real thing.

  9. Audif Jackson Winters III

    Someone needs to come up with a catchy nickname for this not-quite-”tween” demo.

  10. Chris Molanphy

    Will one of the Kidz Bop Kids handle stage announcements about avoiding the Brown Fun Dip and so forth?

    Will Roofi be opening the show?

  11. Tenno

    Why can’t they just set off the gay bomb I’ve been hearing so much about? Or dispense the razors like a good cult.

    My cousin’s kid was playing Kidz Bop at her b-day party, I reached for every glass of Kool-aid I could find, hoping beyond hope that at least one of them had undergone some magical, Jim Jones like conversion.

  12. mike a

    Tenno: There’s a HUGE market for “kids sing the hits.” As a parent, I’d sooner let my kids play around a lit stove than bring any of it into my house. It just doesn’t make any sense – why not play your kids actual music instead? My experience is that they can relate to it just as well with grownups singing.

  13. Trackback

    Another month, another themed list at Rotten Tomatoes! This time, it’s the Top 100 Sci-Fi Movies: As always, I wrote the intro and the notes for the top 20 films.

  14. There are so many decent pop songs out there for kids, I don’t see the need to make covers. Especially when a lot of the songs they cover are more inappropriate than the ones they don’t (see my list here). http://8poundpreemie.blogspot.com/2011/01/someone-please-explain-kidz-bop-to-me.html
    I trust myself to find appropriate music for my son. I don’t need to expose him to this over-commercialized crap.

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