Ted Nugent Mad About 2 Zillion Things, Including Paul McCartney

Jun 19th, 2007 // 10 Comments

nuggggeee.jpgWe’ll say this for Waco Tribune-Review columnist Ted Nugent: The man knows how to hook you in with the very first sentence:

I like sizzling meat on the grill. Wild, huh? Anybody? Now, we all know ol’ Nuge isn’t by any stretch of the imagination a weirdo when it comes to an omnivorous diet.

Especially here in the great Republic of Texas, a smiling, drooling preference for succulent, protein-rich, nutritious backstrap over aromatic mesquite coals is as American and natural and right as Mom, apple pie and the flag. It’s beautiful, really.

But a culture war rages against such universal, self-evident truths. It would be laughable if it were not so deranged. Some weirdos actually are on a crusade to outlaw the consumption of flesh.

I have musical touring associates who have been fired from their jobs with ex-Beatle Paul McCartney for sneaking a hamburger.

The only problem is that Ted doesn’t really elaborate, nor does anyone at his newspaper insist on double-checking to see whether the story about the disgraced McCartney employee (who may or may not be Valerie Plame) is actually true. But it doesn’t really matter, because within a few sentences, the Nuge is jumping from topic to topic, tying together everyone from Mao Tse-Tung to Danny Glover to Texas Congressman Chet Edwards. The whole column feels phoned in: Not because Ted was lazy, but because it literally reads like he literally talked into a phone for two hours straight about random topics. It would be laughable if it were not so deranged.

Ted Nugent: ‘Live and let live’ foreign idea to left [Wacotrib.com]

  1. xboxishuge

    Great, it’s 9:30 in the morning and now I want a steak. Stupid Ted Nugent.

  2. mike a

    Ted Nugent is turning into Ed Anger (Ted Anger?).

  3. ozacrot

    I imagine him telling me this in the form of a speech delivered as he points a rifle at me.

    BONUS FUN!: The comments section of Waco’s online paper in response to a political screed by the author of “Stranglehold” is located at the corner of Insane and Terrifying.

  4. Wasp vs Stryper

    I guess I will reveal my hick roots with this post but oh well.

    My uncle once told me, “Dont you laught at Ted Nugent. The Nuge is the kind of guy who would come to your factory and fix your conveyor belt or heating unit for you. And then he’d take your whole assembly line out for wings and beer. No laughing at the Nuge!”

    Something tells me his core unit of fans doesn’t care about grammar or fact checking. Or is too fond of vegetarian lifestyles, either.

  5. J DTZR

    I’ve interviewed Ted Nugent. Twice. He is indeed insane, but he’s really funny. He is what he is.

    Has the Nuge had some plastic surgery? His face looks weird in the byline pic. Plus, he seems like the type who would find cosmetic surgery to be kinda queer.

  6. AcidReign

    …..Ted was one of my favs in high school and college. But, I always cringed when he was in the interview booth. Ted, shut up and play.

    …..I’ll say this about the Nuge. He once played a show in my town, around the 1984-1986 period. An unknown band called “Bon Jovi” was the backup. The crowd was pitiful, maybe a thousand people. Bon Jovi canceled. And yet, we got no attitude from Ted. He apologized for Bon Jovi not playing, then cranked out an over two hour, wild show.

    …..Previously, I had thought him to be a good showman, but an asshole otherwise. That night showed me another side. I have to agree with Ted on eating meat, I’m afraid. For me, it’s just a selfish thing. I hunt my game in the grocery store. Ted’s idea of eating meat is that you have to shoot and clean it yourself.

  7. Jupiter8

    Ted likes to kill things. In fact, his own career has been dead for years!

  8. Anonymous

    I’m a fellow carnivore, but that’s pretty much all I have in common with The Nuge. That dude can get fucked right in his ear.

  9. Jfrankparnell

    I saw Ted Nugent in 1984, and I was eternally embarrassed — until now, when I saw his bad eye-job in that there photo. He looks like Larry Hagman.

  10. Steven

    I saw him play live and he was amazing and innovative. No matter how insane you think the motor city madman is, he loves America the way the founders meant it to be, so the rest of y’all can just suck on your socialist lollipop and drink your poisoned koolaid..

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