“Rock Of Love”: Do You Care?

Jul 17th, 2007 // 14 Comments

rol_1stlook.jpgAn e-mail from a reader today, subject line “bret michaels horrible/wonderful reality show”: “Have you seen it? As per VH1 policy, they’re rerunning it six times a day. It’s just ghastly, but you truly cannot turn away. From Michaels’ pathetic, forced enthusiasm to his bizarre wigs to the varying levels of desperation in each contestant, well, this thing is quite special.” I haven’t seen all of the first episode, in fact–I caught the first two segments when it streamed online last week, and we did break the news that Bret was the “’90s rock star” the ladies would be competing for–but it’s waiting on the TiVo, almost begging me to write about it. Should I heed its call? I’m still a little indie-logged from the Pitchfork festival, so clearly this calls for an Idolator focus group. Check out the pros and cons, as well as a handy poll, after the jump.

Okay. First, the pros:

The show may actually have music-related content, and when do you see that on VH1 anymore? The theme song is a Bret original. There’s a woman in the house who, upon seeing a drum kit, made a beeline for it and started playing. Surely the guys in Warrant would jump at the chance to visit a house full of ladies and be on camera at the same time.

Bret Michaels doesn’t seem like that bad a guy. Yeah, he’s a rock star and by extension kind of gross, but it’s not like he’s as disgusting as Vince Neil. (By the way, how did he not get asked for this first? “He’s married” isn’t even an excuse.) And there’s even a promo during which he talks about his diabetes, which I’m sure will be amazing fodder for tipsy-lady chitchat.

I’ll probably be sucked into it anyway. The season pass has already been thrown onto the TiVo, although I’d likely watch more of the show–particularly the stripper-pole scenes–on fast-forward were I not engaging with the show in some sort of “professional” capacity.

And the con–there’s only one, but it’s a doozy:

I feel pretty bad enough about humanity as it is. Also, what happens if I see someone I knew in high school on there? I’d have to take a long, hot lye shower, and those are never fun.

Anyway, I’m throwing it open to you, readers. If the numbers call for it, I’ll watch it tonight and write it up, thus attracting all the Google News stragglers:

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you’re viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

Rock Of Love [VH1]

  1. Anonymous

    Fo Sho.

  2. Bazooka Tooth

    You know, it seems like every reality show these days is described as the car wreck: you can’t help but look!
    Well, you know what? It’s fucking time people stopped looking.

  3. janine

    Let Rich Juzwiak handle it.
    He already did an excellent recap of episode 1: [vh1blog.vh1.com]

    I know, he’s in the employ of VH1, but give him a chance.

  4. MConnor

    This show gives me something to believe in.

  5. DavidWatts

    Do I have to vote “no” 20 more times? Bret Michels is not an insane person with colorful slang (like some other VH1 dating show subjects), he’s just some old asshole. As far as the “contestants” . . . if I want to see women who refuse to aknowledge that the last 20 years have happened (to the world, to themselves), I’ll hang out with my aunt.

  6. How do I say this ... THROWDINI!

    Please do, so I won’t have to actually watch it, but will be able to talk knowingly with my friends about specifically why the show is such a trainwreck. Which it surely will be. But in a good way or course.

  7. xtianrut

    I know it sounds cold, but all I can think is, “I’ve gotta know, and better you than me.”

  8. bedpan

    totally agree w/ janine up there. he did a great job on the vh1 blog. he makes a good argument for why you should believe he’s totally objective too on his blog, fourfour.

  9. Al Shipley

    Although it looks like the side I’m taking will lose, I’m gonna vote against this one. Once you open the floodgates to VH1′s “celebreality” programming, we’ll start asking ourselves whether seasons of Celebrity Fit Club with one or two musicians on it or whatever show they put Flava Flav on next is ‘music-related.’ Just say no.

  10. Rob Murphy

    Maura, I can’t believe you bothered to ask, because I think you knew the vote would be for “yes”.

    But without regard to that, I remember watching Behind The Music: Poison around 10 years ago, and Brett Michaels actually came across as “I used to be a smug asshole ‘rock star’, but I’ve really changed and learned a lot and grown up”. CC DeVille was the one who still needed to get a clue, even though he’d already been in-and-out of rehab.

    $.02

  11. thefridayforty

    Don’t threaten me with a good time.

  12. Wasp vs Stryper

    I can recap it for you. A bunch of tan chicks with fake breasts and cheesy tattoos get dressed up in their best BeBe dresses and lastic heels combo and shriek and pull at Bret. They talk about their kids, show off their pole skills and repeatedly tell Bret they understand life on the road.

    Throughout the season there is some fighting, some tears, some girl on girl action to impress Bret, some vomitting and Bret sings every rose has its thorn.

  13. Lax Danja House

    The editing on the show is hilarious- completely un-VH1.

    I also like Poison.

  14. d

    I’m late to this post but my vote is YES, YES, YES. Because while Flavor of Love never tried to be about music (it was still awesome) in this one Brett M. keeps talking about how he needs a girl who likes music and shares his “eclectic tastes.” Uh, what?!? Exactly. Do it!

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