Which Female Singer Is Getting An Extra Boost From Her Band?

Jul 19th, 2007 // 45 Comments

A quite-juicy–yet maddeningly clue-free!–item from today’s Popbitch: “Which female singer expects her band-members to put out at her request? The touring musicians don’t last long if they won’t service the singer.” Whoever it is, we’d like to salute her for turning rock stereotypes sort of on their head. Uh, except for that “lead singer syndrome” bit. Anyway, the only way this mystery can be solved is through our poll software, so get to it:

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Popbitch [Official site]

  1. Kate Richardson

    Out of that list it has to be Lily Allen. Avril is married and Courtney Love’s face is now so fucked up that not even her celebrity could compel someone to “service” her. And I choose to ignore the Fergie option in any situation.

  2. EvangelicalAgnostic

    Kenny Chesney?

  3. SirLoin

    My guesses would be Joan Jett or Peaches.

  4. the rich girls are weeping

    OMG, hello! Evanesence!

  5. jewess

    Beth Ditto- not cause she’s large, but because she’s awesome.

  6. Maura Johnston

    @therichgirlsareweeping: holy crap, i didn’t even THINK of that one.

  7. scarcat

    Sheryl Crow

  8. Kate Richardson

    @SirLoin: Haha, I don’t Peaches would be any kind of surprise to anyone.

  9. BK_KT

    @kaate: The Ferg’s getting it from Josh Duhamel (drool) so I wouldn’t think she needs any band member skankiness.

  10. Ned Raggett

    “Bring Me to Life,” indeed.

  11. the rich girls are weeping

    @maura: Mmmhm. And people wonder why that band cycles through “members” so uh, quickly!

  12. a lady

    I assume you’re not referring to diana krall, right? because she’s known for that sort of thing, at least pre-elvis…

  13. Ted Striker

    Amy Winehouse. Anybody want to check and see how many of her band members have turned to stone?

  14. jess h.

    @Ted Striker: I suggested the ‘House during the nominating process, but as Maura pointed out, she has a regular touring band.

  15. Nunya B

    COME ON. No one is going to bring up the possibility of Beyonce and her ALL FEMALE BAND?

  16. Dickdogfood

    Wait, so nobody thinks this is Cecilia Bartoli? Odd.

  17. catdirt

    you would think it would be a brit, given pop bitches penchant for exposing b list brit sit com stars and second dvision footballers for their cocaine and/or dildo related indiscretions…

  18. Bazooka Tooth

    Hannah Montana?

  19. Jay-C

    @jess h.: It can’t be the ‘House, because she obsesses too much over that fiancee/suitcase pimp who never leaves her alone…

  20. Nicolars

    @therichgirlsareweeping:

    I immediately thought of Evanescence/Amy Lee too, since she has had so many problems with the musicians she’s worked with.

  21. Wasp vs Stryper

    I thought Amy Lee too, but bitch got married to some dude and has been incessantly blogging about it and shouting out to him blah blah.

    Wouldnt it be funny if it was Lacey Mosely, that uber Christian chic from FlyLeaf

  22. jess h.

    @Aquemini: I also suggested Hannah Montana, but then I just said a couple Hail Marys.

  23. dollywould

    I love Popbitch, and I also vote the possibility of a British singer. So with that in mind, and as I try to think of all the singers they’ve ever mentioned, I’ve come up with…

    Charlotte Church or Kylie Minogue

  24. Anonymous

    Zooks, kids, is anyone really laboring under the delusion that it couldn’t be so ‘n so because she’s married? People get married because cheating is some much fun. Do I have to teach you everything????

  25. catdirt

    i vote for kylie- i just didn’t want to be the first.

  26. kiteless

    @Jay-C: and we all know that sex to a junkie is like getting cheese on a chili dog, I mean ya, it’s great, but the chili dog is entirely satisfying as is. (all double-entendre’s intended).

    No mention of my lady chan? I’d learn an instrument to be misused by her.

  27. Maura Johnston

    @kiteless: oh, now you just made me have a vision of chan-gregg foreman sex. ewwww.

  28. xtianrut

    Scott Weiland? (Waits for screaming noises coming from Metalsucks guys…)

  29. the rich girls are weeping

    @kisskisskiss: Dude! I didn’t even think of that possibility. *cough*

  30. Butch Huskey

    kd lang

  31. Anonymous

    Kylie’s entourage would be too busy servicing each other to pay any attention to her so I highly doubt thats the correct answer.

  32. Butch Huskey

    i’m guessing it’s someone older like Linda Ronstadt (who used to “date” her opening act comedian Jim Carrey) or maybe Chrissie Hynde of Pretenders … or it could be someone who’s batshit crazy like Macy Gray

  33. lisasez

    Joss Stone is my guess, and rock on may I say. Rock on. Who doesn’t love being serviced by musicians? Communists, that’s who.

  34. Weezy F Baby

    oooohhh macy gray is a good guess.

  35. kiteless

    @maura: so it was the gregg foreman visual that made you gag and not the chili dog innuendo? Look closely at this inkblot, what do you see maura?

  36. catdirt

    typically their pop star blind items involving american talent involve someone who was in london in the last week. on an unrelated note- has anyone seen joss stone around? doesn’t she “fuck for tracks”?

  37. kiteless

    btw, Janis Joplin is not impressed by this post.

  38. ilovetacos

    LIZA!

  39. Cassiel

    Barbra Streisand.

  40. Maura Johnston

    @kiteless: i see two years of living in philadelphia.

  41. ThereMustBeAPony

    Liza Minnelli. Sheer pants are meant to tease.

  42. FionaScrapple

    @Weezy F Baby:

    Nah. Macy wouldn’t even be able to tour if that was the case. I’m gonna go with Carrie Underwood…on tour that is. Yummy!

  43. Cos

    Please, please please be the girl from Evanescence.

  44. cerulgalactus

    The girls from Prussian Blue.

    CASE CLOSED!

  45. KinetiQ

    @cerulgalactus: What a peculiar function of Godwin’s Law.

    I think you may have just won the internet.

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