A Personal Plea To Beth Ditto

Jul 26th, 2007 // 21 Comments

perez_red.jpg Look, I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt with the NME cover. Your heart was probably in the right place. But this? Perez Hilton? This has to be a gag, a sloppy Photoshop job on a slow news day from those jokers at Urb, slapping the logo on something they filched from Last Night’s Party and then passing it off as a “contest” to choose the cover for the magazine’s next issue. Right? Just look at the washed-out digi-cam quality of the photographs and the crude cut-and-paste job (especially noticeable around your noggin’). Totally a joke. Right? Please? The other photo is after the jump, along with some choice quotes from the contest’s comments section:

Posted Thursday, July 26, 2007 @ 08:57 by steph
HATERS!!! don’t u wish u were on a cover! Get over yourself!! I LOVE PEREZ AND DITTO!!! RED COVER FOR SURE!!!!!!!!

Posted Thursday, July 26, 2007 @ 09:44 by L
Perez and Beth are great. You are all just jealous because you aren’t on a magazine cover.

Posted Thursday, July 26, 2007 @ 09:47 by s
i would have to say that i love perez but i really don’t care for either picture. Perez you kinda look funny in both, agree with the orange comments, sorry! But keep on dishing the scoop like you do, love ya

Posted Thursday, July 26, 2007 @ 10:07 by kit
Perez,you rock!! Congrats on your 1st cover.I vote silver cause the red is too much.Im not a Beth Ditto fan but Perez is awesome!

Posted Thursday, July 26, 2007 @ 10:13 by Lindsay Lohan
Incredible that one of those things will make a cover! don´t forget to put your magazine backward in the stands. What a awful pair of fatsos!

Now Lindsay, that’s not very nice.

Like I said, it’s probably Urb‘s editorial department having a little LOL OMG WTF at our expense. In which case, kudos. Caught me with my righteous indignation around my ankles. But Beth, what are you doing hanging with this smug, leathery, frosted goiter of a human being in the first place? I’m worried about you, but more than that, I’m worried about the type of people you are choosing to associate yourself with now that you’re a minor indie rock celebrity. I mean, this isn’t the healthy, brassy Beth Ditto I used to see buying bagels at the hippie coffee shop in downtown Olympia:

perez_silver.jpg

Dr. Harvell proscribes a good week’s worth of sleep and plenty of orange juice. Oh, and also to stop hanging around with bloated ticks like Perez Hilton.

And now back to my hobbit hole until next Wednesday.

Help choose URB’s next cover! [Urb Blogs]

idolator

  1. Nicolars

    It’s one of those cases where a girl gets a real double-bagger “friend” to hang out with so she’ll great by comparison.

  2. Dickdogfood

    Clearly Perez has abandoned the Frankenberry look for a whole new take on the Oompa-Loompa lifetsyle.

  3. wondergoodtx

    Sadly my good people, that cover is real or at least URB is planning on it being real. You should have seen some of the other outtakes.

  4. bedpan

    seriously, get a makeup artist for this shoot. someone needs to powder up perez.

  5. Nicolars

    @bedpan: If by powder you mean anthrax, then I heartily agree.

  6. TinyK

    @Nicolars: Maybe something even more painful, somehow, than Anthrax? Or slower and more painful?

    I’ve never wished lawsuit-weilding lawyers more success than I do all the wonderful people suing the crap out of PH. You go, lawyer boys! Sue! Sue!

  7. The Van Buren Boys

    *Note to self: Don’t ever purchase a copy of URB.*

    @Nicolars: Well played

  8. Wigger

    Oh, why is she making it so hard to like her. In interviews she is so eloquent and (in comparison to the lohans of this world) normal.

    Why oh why spend time with that puffed up twit.

  9. tock

    Begin forwarded message:

    From: Raymond Leon Roker
    Date: July 26, 2007 11:46:37 AM PDT
    To: Raymond Leon Roker
    Subject: WTF > URB and Perez Hilton . . .

    Sorry, we had to do it.

    [perezhilton.com]

    (or click)

    (*and yes, we will retouch the photos)


    RAYMOND LEON ROKER
    [ URB ] [ URB.COM ] [ NativeSon Media, Inc. ]

  10. Cam/ron

    How sad. I remember when URB was a respectable electronica zine five years ago. It’s been downhill since they slapped a photo of Interpol’s prettyboy bassist on their cover.

  11. the rich girls are weeping

    @Cam/ron: DUDE. I knew EXACTLY what the stinger would be when I saw the beginning of your comment on the front page. Whine, whine, whine.

  12. Silverfuture

    @Cam: Urb has been going downhll ever since they stopped sending out free CDs with every issue.

    On a somewhat realted note, I’ve been watching The Sopranos from the beginning this month and in addition to cameos from both Buster and JOB Bluth, I was amused to see Perez show up for about five seconds in one episode. He looked so much better back when he was just Mario. Probably still a douche, though.

  13. goldsoundz

    I’m guessing the feature’s angle is Perez as indie-rock kingmaker? That odd to be good for a chuckle.

    Beth is surely too taken with her celebrity status in Britain to remember the little people. She’s got about another 6 months left in the NME’s good graces, methinks.

  14. Cam/ron

    @therichgirlsareweeping

    Hmm…a drive-by shooting by a troll or a disgruntled Interpol fan.

    Anyhow, I was once a happy URB subscriber back in ’00-02 when they had great writing by the likes of Oliver Wang, Tamara Palmer, and Hua Hsu to name a few. Unfortunately, the zine began veering way too far into indie rock a few years ago. It’s almost comparable to Alternative Press’s descent into nu-metal/rap-metal hell.

  15. Bob Loblaw

    And just to pee in the swimming pool, I’m gonna go ahead and say those pictures are pretty sweet. It’s the closest I’ve ever come to liking poor, awkward P@r&z, which is to say all not that close.

  16. beta.rogan

    I used to subscribe as well, waaaay back when, and for some reason I still get URB every month. I can’t recall the last time I renewed though. It has gotten progressively worse with each issue…like clockwork.

  17. the rich girls are weeping

    @Cam/ron: Neither. I just hate predictable pot-shots. *yawn*

  18. Tenno

    Oompa Loompa Doobity Doo!
    Boy do I have some blogging to do!
    What do you get when your skin is too pale?
    Orange spraypaint and pose by a whale!


    Seriously i’m kidding, I hated that fucking movie.

  19. Anonymous

    He’s so…orange.
    I still have love for Beth.

  20. Slugicide

    Wait, you lived in Olympia? Now I totally have to know who you are. And by totally I mean, “If I’m not aready too drunk to remember this post.”

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