Usher’s Wedding Spread Goes To The Dogs

noah | July 31, 2007 12:08 pm
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As more rumors regarding Usher’s canceled wedding to Tameka Foster fly, a musician who was recently hired to play at “a certain wedding (or should I say, non-wedding) that’s been getting a lot of attention recently in the news media” decided to spill the story about his weekend in the Hamptons to Impose Magazine. After the jump, we get a glimpse into the million-dollar nuptials that could have been, complete with 1934 Steinway piano, “Prom Fantasy Tent” (???), botanical garden’s supply of orchids, and free Poland Spring for the musicians:

Our area was in the “chapel” tent, where the ceremony was to take place. It had been erected over the grounds’ tennis court, almost to the Golden Ratio. The music stands were placed in a row awaiting our music. The piano, a 1934 Steinway rented from one of the top studios in midtown Manhattan, had just been tuned. The wicker chairs where the guests would sit, which alone looked impressive, were being draped with a soft beige fabric covering, seamlessly unifying the decor. Every base covered.

We got out our instruments, burned through some Handel for about twenty minutes and then quickly reached for our Poland Springs. The tent was humid and balmy. I was a little tired from waking up so early. Suddenly, in popped the famed wedding planner for the stars, mistress of todays’ ceremonies. She called us into the dining tent for a quick meeting. The flutist in our group thought she was joking when she whispered: “she’s bringing us in there to say the whole thing’s been canceled.”

The wedding planner got right to the point, and we had to vacate the premises, and strike the entire tent setup within a matter of hours. At least a million dollars worth of pageantry had to be dismantled for a wedding that wasn’t even going to take place. The orchids would be tossed, the incredible food would be fed to the German shepherds, and no one would dance in the Prom Fantasy Tent. One of the florists cried.

Meanwhile, our pianist and leader needed to contact the piano studio, as he needed to organize a quicker pick-up than anticipated. The studio, however, was being somewhat inflexible. Our leader had no choice but approach the keeper of the grounds, the major-label executive, and ask him to be patient with the piano. Our leader entered the house, probably one of the only people allowed of our hundred-person wedding army permitted to do so. We waited from a distance, trying to get a peak inside. And lo, there was the executive, having lunch. Our leader, who was able to get in talking distance, later described him to us as a “Gatsby”-like figure. He was having one of his three servants bring him a VO Manhattan straight-up along with a celery juice. Quite a spread, he said, commenting on the controlled chaos taking place on his property.

Our leader explained the situation and the executive nodded. That was all. Everything was fine.

So solemn. But really, they couldn’t give the musicians doggie bags with the food? Surely those German Shepherds would have been OK with sharing.

So there was this wedding that got called off in the Hamptons… [Impose Magazine]

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