Live-Blogging The Video Music Award Nominations: Hey, MTV Is Actually Showing Music-Related Programming Right Now

noah | August 7, 2007 12:56 pm
vmas.jpg

Welcome to our liveblog of the announcement of the nominees for the 2007 Video Music Awards–scheduled to coincide with today’s airing of TRL, which means that the kids in the audience will be even more excitable/confused by references to pre-2002 pop culture than usual. Our complete, minute-by-minute coverage begins after the jump.

12:55 p.m. The Making The Band finalists are singing, prompting my viewing companion, whose back is currently to the TV, to ask, “Is that Man Band?”

1:00 p.m. Damien–who doesn’t even get to use his last name for the occasion–reminds us that the VMAs will be “kicking off the school year.” Which is great for an event that’s set in a casino.

1:02 p.m. The first nominees. The first of five new categories: Monster Single. “Girlfriend,” “Home” (!??!), “Thnks Fr Th Mmrs,” “Lip Gloss,” “Buy You A Drank,” “The Way I Are,” “This Is Why I’m Hot,” “Hey There Delilah,” “Umbrella,” and “Party Like A Rock Star.” Ten nominees? Is this just a way to honor the current TRL playlist from a particular day?

1:04 p.m. Female artist. Amy Winehouse, Beyonce, Fergie, Nelly Furtado, Rihanna. Poor Lily Allen–she goes through all that at the airport and she still doesn’t get a nod.

1:04 p.m. Rihanna arrives with walking stick. What a trouper!

1:05 p.m. Apparently, “playing the video” means “playing the same snippet of the song that we played when we made the nomination announcement, plus an extra verse or two.”

1:08 p.m. Rihanna’s foot injury revealed: She hit it into a 100-lb. chair “randomly.” Her tuxedoish getup does go well with the walking stick, though.

1:09 p.m. Best New Artist? Amy Winehouse, Carrie Underwood, Gym Class Heroes, Lily Allen, and … Peter, Bjorn & John? Was Kanye West head of the nominating committee?

1:09 p.m. Lily Allen: The U.S. “is a great country and a great place to be.” Her people are sending that tape to the Immigration Dept. right now.

1:11 p.m. Commercial break No. 1 features the nominees for Best Choreography. (I was wondering how they were going to fit all these new categories in.) They are: “Beautiful Liar,” “Wall To Wall,” “Like A Boy,” “Tambourine,” and “SexyBack.” Cue the “Feist was robbed” cries from the drunk-on-Peter Bjorn & John success bloggers!

1:14 p.m. “Members of the press” = four people with cameras pointed at the street in front of 1515 Broadway.

1:16 p.m. Chris Brown says that all the choreography nominees are awesome, and that he’s going to basically put his performance’s production values on the line at the casino. This is going to be the best back-to-school jam ever!

1:18 p.m. Damien admonishes the crowd for cheering too much before announcing the Best Group nominees: Fall Out Boy, Gym Class Heroes, Linkin Park, Maroon 5, The White Stripes. (No My Chemical Romance?)

1:19 p.m. Hey, if you watch the Video Music Awards, you’ll be able to see Fall Out Boy take over the suite that was used on The Real World: Las Vegas! With Pete Wentz as Trishelle, no doubt.

1:20 p.m. Pete Wentz and Shaquille O’Neal play a game of one-on-one. Really.

1:21 p.m. Lily Allen is trying to play coy when asked to say whether or not she’s performing. She also looks much more interested in the crap game in front of her than she does about the prospect of being on TV. And you can blog that to the bank!

1:24 p.m. The possibility of the commercial breaks actually having content makes this liveblog a much less pleasant experience than the ones with content-free commercial interruptions. And it’s probably going to get worse, since only four categories have been announced and we’ve already burned through about half the show.

1:26 p.m. Also, the commercial breaks present an alternate-view VMA of sorts: Feist, the Dandy Warhols, a frenzied makeout session in a walk-in closet … oh, that’s a condom PSA.

1:27 p.m. Video of the Year–introduced by Chris Brown! Does this mean his attempt at a lower-budget “Thriller” won’t be nominated? So sad.

1:28 p.m. And your nominees are: “Rehab,” “Irreplaceable,” “D.A.N.C.E.,” “What Goes Around Comes Around,” “Stronger,” and “Umbrella.” It probably goes without saying that the Justice nomination resulted in the smallest number of “woo”ing from the crowd.

1:29 p.m. Kanye!

1:30 p.m. Who, of course, thinks his video is the best.

1:31 p.m. Oh my God–they are actually setting up a rematch between Justice and Kanye West, after their confrontation at the European VMAs last year. And now Kanye is talking about how he’s still angry about losing! Although he thinks the Justice video that “Stronger” is up against is great. Seriously, when did the VMAs become an episode of RAW written by music bloggers?

1:33 p.m. Kanye is taking questions from the press, including “Alicia” from the AP. He does not want to be in a debate with 50 Cent. “I thought that was the stupidest thing,” he said of 50’s challenge. So did we!

1:34 p.m. Lily Allen has terrible posture. And she is apparently the only female in Hugh Hefner’s suite (ugh!) who didn’t have to wear a bikini (ugh!!!).

1:37 p.m. The Best Editing nominations include that Gnarls Barkley video where they’re in a bunch of different eras. This is called “being nice way, way after the fact.”

1:39 p.m. Hey, MTV–it might help your ratings to not put the nominees on your site before the show’s over. Sheesh.

1:40 p.m. And now, the Most Earth-Shattering Collaboration: “Smack That,” “Beautiful Liar,” “SexyBack,” “The Sweet Escape,” and, in a sop to the old people, “The Saints Are Coming.” Only 40% Akon-related content in this category?

1:42 p.m. Timbaland is dancing to his own song. He is this year’s “maestro,” which means he will do all the music, including remixes. Can’t wait for the Celine Dion/Axl Rose surprise duet.

1:43 p.m. Lily Allen looks incredibly awkward and uncomfortable. She just stifled a yawn.

1:45 p.m. Male artist: Akon, Justin Timberlake, Kanye West, Robin Thicke, and T.I. Lily thinks that T.I. is the “baddest man there is,” which provides the perfect introduction for the preppied-out Robin Thicke.

1:47 p.m. A webcam interviewer asks Robin Thicke a question. 1999, your moment is now.

1:48 p.m. Timbaland is speaking verrry slowwwwly and deliiiiiberately, like he has no idea what to say. Or he just woke up. Or both!

1:51 p.m. Best Director nominees: “Beautiful Liar,” “Candy Man,” “Justin and Scarlett Make Out,” “Stronger,” “What I’ve Done,” and “Umbrella.” All the “Beautiful Liar” nominations are starting to smell really fishy to me. Also, hello, where’s My Chemical Romance??? Did Gerard Way run over some MTV executive’s dog?

1:55 p.m. The crummy “ironic white guy” rap group Team Facelift are apparently MTV’s official new promo go-to guys. Wait, I think that the lead guy tried to friend me on Facebook last week … oops.

1:56 p.m. The Quadruple Threat Award nominees: Beyonce, Bono, Jay-Z, Justin Timberlake, and Kanye West.

1:57 p.m. A surprise live performance! Timbaland is talking weird! He is sooooo stoned right now.

1:57 p.m. Once again, Kanye West is backed by a string section, which sounds great … just standing there.

1:59 p.m. Is it really a surprise performance if the guest in question has been on the show for half the broadcast? Also, where can I get the backup singer’s giant-sized version of the plastic chain-link charm necklaces that I wore back in sixth grade?

2:01 p.m. Oh, it’s Common, who I guess didn’t let not getting nominated stop him from making a crucial promotional appearance on some prime mid-afternoon MTV.

2:02 p.m. And the show ends, and for the first time all afternoon, Lily Allen cracks an actual smile. And I’m already dreading Sept. 9! Here’s hoping I can get a press credential!