Jazz Legend Hates Cell Phone Cameras More Than We Do

If you’re tired of seeing half the audience watch a concert through the teeny viewfinders of their cell phones and digital cameras rather than just relaxing and, you know, enjoying the friggin’ moment instead of trying to desperately trying to capture the fleeting memory of some shitty band, you are not alone. Pianist Keith Jarrett has earned himself a perma-ban from Italy’s Umbria Jazz Fest for putting the smackdown on a sea of digicam zombies.

“I do not speak Italian, so someone who speaks English can tell all these assholes with cameras to turn them fucking off right now,” Jarrett says as his band takes the stage. He then tells the audience that if anyone else takes a snap, the band “reserves the right” to “leave the goddamn city.” Unfortunately, the big wuss has already sent out a formal apology, thereby deflating the impact of what could have been the first strike in a unified assault against doofuses with overactive Flickr accounts. Musicians and fans, it’s time to take back the night.

Keith Jarrett’s Outburst Should Be Applauded [Guardian]

  • Christopher R. Weingarten


  • Weezy F Baby

    ironically caputred for posterity on a cell phone camera…but i’m definitely with him and you, jess.

    this also reminds me of how bummed i still am that the “hey asshole” column didn’t quite work out here.. bring it back!

  • Darth Funk

    reason #2,875 why keith jarrett rules.

  • Lucas Jensen

    That’s great. I love surliness.

  • Dickdogfood

    I’d join in the applause, too, ‘cept that Jarrett is notorious for being a FRRRREEEEAK about concert behavior. He’s also lead campaigns against coughers; IIRC, he used to start concerts by leading the audience into an act of communal cough-drop consumption.

  • TurdsAndWhey

    Way to go, Keith! You are now forgiven for… uh, there’s nothing to forgive you for–rats!

  • xtianrut

    I hate jazz, but I’m this guy’s new biggest fan!

  • StarlingSlipstream

    I really think there needs be a revolution against the cell phone camera army. Maybe not in such an American way in a foreign country, but to each their own…

    At least he could have included the now standard “Go fuck yourself” to round it out.

  • Bob Loblaw

    So you think you’re too good for the “Jarrett causes photographers to
    take umbria-age” pun? This place used to be a beacon of groan-worthy
    wordplay. A BEACON.