Van Halen’s Official Site Places Wolfgang In Time Machine

Aug 14th, 2007 // 19 Comments

An eagle-eyed Van Halen fan writes in with news of some revisionist history coming from Van Halen’s official site, which has been freshened up for reunion-tour ticket sales: “If you look at the main page on Van-Halen.com, all their David Lee Roth era albums are show on the left and right sides. But you can notice that they’ve changed the cover of Van Halen I and replaced Michael Anthony with who appears to be Wolfgang Van Halen.

They also do not have the band photo on the cover for Women and Children First, because Michael Anthony was on that cover. Just thought I’d tip the idolator editors to this weird piece of photoshop editing. Personally I think it’s kind of disrespectful to Michael Anthony. First he doesn’t get to join the Van Halen reunion, then he has to tour with lame Sammy Hagar, and now this!”

It’s especially galling, given that Wolfgang was about -13 years old when Van Halen I came out in 1978. For your perusal, the album images–real and Van-Halen.com version–are reproduced below. The smaller size of the Web site’s cover version makes it tough to see if the new person in the bottom-right corner is Wolfgang for sure, but the picture is definitely … different.

vanhalenreal.jpg

album_01.jpg

This is all going to be so embarrassing when Eddie and Alex go back to Michael, hat in hand, for a tour in ’08. Hope he at least uses this to ask them for more money!

Van-Halen.com [Official site]
Van Halen [Amazon]

  1. Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee

    Wow.

    Awful. Just awful.

  2. McCroskey

    Eddie’s assholery never ceases to amaze

  3. Lucas Jensen

    All I’m saying is this: Van Halen is in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and KISS isn’t? Who are the bigger clowns?

  4. Falconfire

    @Lucas Jensen: The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame obviously.. since I bet you any kid these days could name 2 Kiss songs, and wouldnt know who the hell Van Halen WAS.

    @McCroskey: Oh I am so with you here. The guy makes deadbeat dads look like saints.

  5. Audif Jackson Winters III

    I’m not going to defend Van Halen, but how does whether “kids today” are familiar with a band’s output have any bearing on how worthy of the HOF they are?

  6. Crunchbird

    I, for one, am sick to death of this revisionist history where Kiss allegedly has, or ever had, actual musical credibility. Other than the goofiness of “Rock and Roll All Night,” and the MTV-reinforced tidbits of “Lick It Up” that people over 30 can’t excise from their memory, who really remembers any Kiss MUSIC? When it comes to straightforward hard rock of the 70s and early 80s, Van Halen had at least a dozen songs more memorable than anything Kiss ever released. Sure, they ALSO have more annoying pop monstrosities in their catalog (“Jump” and “Right Here, Right Now” are more evil than “Beth”), but that’s still more points in the “more significant and famous” column. I think it would be pretty fucking funny if Kiss never got the call, so that each year Gene Simmons can get pouty and bitch and moan about how he’s been slighted.

    That said, DLR is a complete nutjob, Michael Anthony is being well and truly screwed, and the chances of this reunion tour actually making to 50 cities are slim to none.

  7. brainchild

    @Crunchbird: Thank you for the reality check on Kiss. Their gimmick is more memorable than any of their music, save “Rock & Roll All Night.”

  8. Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee

    @Falconfire: You are CRAZY if you think KISS is more popular with kids nowadays than Van Halen.

    Who gives a fuck about the rock and roll hall of fame, anyway?

    See what I did there? I didn’t even capitalize that shit. THAT’s how little I think of that particular institution.

  9. peachkellipop

    That’s shitty and disrepectful, but I’m still going to see them. Eddie has always been an asshole, so I am happy that hasn’t changed.

    Meanwhile Wolfgang was born in 1991-oops I missed the “-.” Nevermind.

  10. noamjamski

    @Crunchbird: Having nothing to do with any Van Halen vs KISS matchup, I don’t think you have ever heard KISS. There are so many awesome KISS tunes I don’t even know where to begin. One thing Gene and Paul had was an attention to hooks and harmony that, especially when they were paired with a great producer, made world class hard rock. Many more of them, including “God of Thunder,” were written by Paul rather than Gene.

    Love Gun? I still love you? Creatures of the night? Goin’ Blind? Christine Sixteen? Parasite? Sure Know Something? Hide your Heart? Strutter? Hard Luck Woman? Magic Touch? Detroit Rock City? 100,000 years? Heaven’s on Fire? I’m Alive? Hotter than Hell?

    KISS are pretty great. You should try *listening* to them at some point.

    As for the topic at hand, Van Halen, this is awful. Michael Anthony is the secret weapon! Those vocal harmonies! We can only hope this is not a prelude to them re-recording the albums with Wolfgang to erase Anthony altogether like Ozzy did after that legal dispute with Bob Daisley.

  11. noamjamski

    Oh man, I really didn’t mean to sound like a 14 year old girl defending how she’ll love Avril Lavigne 4evah.

    I just kinda love KISS records and think the recent backlash is more “revisionist” than giving them respect on a musical level……

  12. dollywould

    The KISS/VH argument is funny considering this:
    [www.kiss-related-recordings.nl]

  13. janine

    Have y’all seen the video on Defamer? Eddie looks great. I might even go.

  14. AcidReign

        I always liked the pyrotechnics at Kiss shows. On the other hand, I felt like a lot of their music was ELO with more generic guitars instead of cellos. And no Jeff Lynne singing. Ooops. I loved the “Lick It UP”/Vinnie Vincent-era. Here was a true histrionic lead guitarist, and I don’t think Gene Simmons liked his thunder getting stolen.

        EVH was a visionary pioneer on the guitar. No arguments. And there have been some studio-gems, like the first VH album, Fair Warning, and III. But, I’ve seen van Halen 5 times or more, live. They’ve NEVER had good sound, and Eddie was wasted every time. I’d save my money on those concert tickets.

        I figure the current treatment of Michael Anthony is consistent with past VH dickery. They’ve always played that “you suck, you’re out of the band” game. I know I’m going to get flack, but I figure that Anthony is a LOT more replaceable, sound-wise, than a lead singer. Change singers, you change the band. Period.

        Van Halen’s NEVER made the change I’d like to see. Alex, no wants to hear you bash the cymbal on EVERY beat! That sounds TERRIBLE on CD! Dude. I know you have a hi-hat. I’ve seen your kit. Use it, a little? Please?

  15. Lucas Jensen

    You guys who hate on KISS don’t know a great guitar pop song when you hear it. It’s not revisionism. They were legitimately good songwriters. Van Halen put out a friggin’ half cover record and are somehow given a pass. Alex Van Halen is the most atrocious “good” drummer in history. Sure, they have lots of great songs, but besides 1984 and I, how many great records do they have? I’m saying, with Roth at the helm, what makes them any less gimmicky than KISS? Those videos? Jesus.

  16. Whigged

    But the music was awesome, and at least VH never met the Phantom of the Park.

    You want a “great record”? Try Fair Warning; no covers, and it’s a mind blower for guitar geeks. How about Balance, another guitar lesson some 15 years later and Sammy’s best vocals.

    Without the make-up, Kiss were just another shitty New York band who eventually came into their own before losing the plot again and again. Those solo records? Trash. I’ll name ten VH songs that are better than your best Kiss track – and that’s not a challange – it’s a fact.

  17. Tiger_Tanaka

    Kiss vs Van Halen? Has this what it’s come down to? Are you fucking kidding me? I’m living in a world full of preening, tattooed, rock posers (I mean, Los Angeles) all of whom seem to have written the same song on the radio, and this is what you all bitch about? Get your heads in the game!

  18. Anonymous

    All I can tell most of the winers. Is that I was born in 1973. I waited all my life to finally see Eddies majic with the intense drums of alex and the brilliant front man Daimond D.. The good the bad.. Don’t call me a kid old man..I have my stash on vynal as well..Some live bootleg as well..I’m sure you listened to many a million and 2. Well right behind you at a million +1..My whole point is that hitparader history is in the make. Row 5 in Toronto. I could care less that michle is in row 7 behind me. My idols will be right in front.

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