Britney Spears In “New Song” Shocker

noah | August 23, 2007 1:00 am
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ARTIST: Britney SpearsTITLE: ?WEB DEBUT: Aug. 23, 2007

ONE-LISTEN VERDICT: Over a sad-piano backing track that sounds like it was sampled from Sean Preston’s music box, Britney sings, sometimes melismatically, about being deserted by her “baby boy” (Oh No They Didn’t has the lyrics), then breaks off from her pity party to take a phone call from an unidentified person who she “loves,” and who is given an important grocery-store errand. (What, exactly, the person on the other end has to pick up is never mentioned. Cheetos? Red Bull? A new bowler hat?) After the phone call, she’s back to mourning her lost love, and from there the track fizzles its way to its eventual close. Throughout, Britney’s voice sounds oddly strained and musical-theaterish, especially in the last “dramatic” chorus. You guys, if this is the song she’s going to perform at the VMAs, we are in for quite the untitled ninth-grade-acting-class treat. (Maybe she can get Jon Voight to cameo as the person who rings her up? Or even better: R. Kelly!) WHERE TO FIND IT: Ryan Seacrest debuted the song on his KIIS-FM show this morning, and now it’s streaming from the show’s official site (via ONTD).