Gene Simmons Makes Kinda Sad, Not-Very-Well-Veiled Attempt At Getting A Date

Aug 27th, 2007 // 5 Comments

genesimmons.jpgIn keeping with today’s general mood, Blabbermouth has posted shocking revelations about Gene Simmons love life. And ladies, it’s straight from the big man’s very own Web page, so you know it’s 100% real talk:

“I AM NOT MARRIED!!!

“Folks. I have been deluged with new emails saying some very nice things. Thank you. But, seriously girls, I AM NOT MARRIED!!! I HAVE NEVER BEEN MARIED. I HAVE NO INTENTIONS OF EVERY GETTING MARRIED.

“It shocks me that women keep saying ‘your wife’… and can’t get it through their heads there IS NO wife. Never has been. Never will be.

“Women are finally FREE. You live in the 21st Century. You DON’T HAVE TO BE MARRIED, if you don’t want to.

“So ladies, I say this again, I AM NOT MARRIED.

So, girls, I hear Gene Simmons just might be single. In fact, I wonder what he’s up to tonight! You know what they say … big tongue, rich asshole, etc. Wait, maybe I shouldn’t have put the words “tongue,” “asshole,” and “Gene Simmons” so close together.

Gene Simmons: I Am Not Married [Blabbermouth]

  1. Dickdogfood

    What a coinky-dink, Gene. I’m not married either IF YOU GET MY DRIFT.

  2. Chris N.

    So he’s married?

  3. peachkellipop

    I don’t know who is more pathetic him, or Shannon Tweed for staying with him. Or maybe it is me, for wasting a half hour of my life yesterday watching his unmarried ass go camping on TV. sigh.

  4. Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee

    Women are finally FREE. You live in the 21st Century. You DON’T HAVE TO BE MARRIED, if you don’t want to.

    ‘Cause isn’t that what it’s all about, Gene? Female empowerment?

  5. King of Pants

    That last sentence bounced off the rim.

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