Presenting <em>Cracked</em> Magazine’s List Of The 20 Worst Album Titles

Sep 18th, 2007 // 8 Comments

Cracked! Holy shit! The list itself isn’t all that–though the collected terribleness speaks for itself–but my inner 12-year-old is suddenly back to snickering at parodies of U2 and the Michael Keaton Batman movie on the way back from summer camp. Mostly because they didn’t have any copies of Mad at the scary backwoods PA gas station we stopped at. But still! As a man who once interviewed the creators of the Big Johnson T-shirt, my appreciation for cringeworthy juvenile humor is deep and abiding. You can argue about the “venerable” mag’s list, which is after the jump, but mostly I just want to thank Paper Thin Walls crew for still reading Cracked:

#20. C-Murder – The Truest Shit I Ever Said

#19. Fall Out Boy — Fall Out Boy’s Evening Out with Your Girlfriend

#18. The Kinks — The Kinks are the Village Green Preservation Society

#17. Madonna/311 — Music

#16. Fiona Apple – When the Pawn Hits the Conflicts He Thinks Like a King What He Knows Throws the Blows When He Goes to the Fight and He’ll Win the Whole Thing ‘Fore He Enters the Ring There’s No Body to Batter When Your Mind Is Your Might So When You Go Solo, You Hold Your Own Hand and Remember That Depth Is the Greatest of Heights and If You Know Where You Stand, Then You’ll Know Where to Land and If You Fall It Won’t Matter, Cuz You Know That You’re Right

#15. Toby Keith – Shock’n Y’all

#14. Kansas – Point of Know Return

#13. Keith Murray – Rap-Murr-Phobia (The Fear Of Real Hip-Hop)

#12. Squeeze – Cosi Fan Tutti Frutti

#11. Elton John – Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy

#10. The Butthole Surfers – Hairway to Steven

#9. Cher – Not.Com.mercial

#8. Deep Purple – Purpendicular

#7. Salt-n-Pepa — A Salt With a Deadly Pepa

#6. Mustard Plug – Skapocalypse Now!

#5. Public Enemy – How You Sell Soul To A Soulless People Who Sold Their Soul?

#4. Genesis – From Genesis to Revelation

#3. John Oates – Phunk Shui

#2. R. Kelly – Chocolate Factory

#1. Limp Bizkit – Chocolate Starfish and the Hotdog Flavored Water

The 20 Worst Album Titles Of All Time [Cracked via Paper Thin Walls]

  1. Ned Raggett

    Man, now I’m having MY Cracked flashbacks. All sorts of weird jokes about John Severin.

  2. mike a

    I’d replace their #4 with Hey Man, Smell My Finger.

  3. beta.rogan

    My brother used to have to do pictures for the Big Johnsons people..he even drove their trailer down to bike week one year. Good times, good times…

  4. lucasg

    hairway to steven has always been like my FAVORITE album title.

  5. Hyman Decent

    What about You Can Tune a Piano But You Can’t Tuna Fish by REO Speedwagon?

  6. mackro

    Jethro Tull’s didn’t get considered?

  7. februarymakeup

    There’s a really godawful Joe Walsh title that isn’t on there. God I hate living in Kent.

    Anyway, when on earth did Cracked decide to be the place for oddball music lists? Have they always been like that and I just missed out? I don’t seem to remember quite so much C-Murder (seriously, I just looked around and I haven’t found a list without him on it).

  8. mike a

    I’d also replace #5 with New Whirl Odor.

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