Lindsay Lohan’s Rehab Conquest’s Band Just As Lousy As You Might Expect

Sep 21st, 2007 // 11 Comments

deadstaysalive.jpgFrom the “That’s Life In The Inferno Of Postmodernity” files: One of the most popular bands on Google Trends right now is the Atlanta duo Dead Stays Alive, one-half of which “befriended” Lindsay Lohan while the two were in rehab. (Rumors that the two hooked up have been zinging around the gossipsphere; Lohan’s rep is, of course, calling those tales “mean.”) Tony Allen, the Dead Stays Alive member in question, has even been referred to as “famous” more than once, which I’m going to chalk up to people confusing him with the Tony Allen who played with Fela Kuti and The Good, The Bad, And The Queen, and not the fact that he was spilling his guts about Lindsay on Extra the other night.

There are two reasons for this. First off, any band that has to put out a press release letting people know that one of its members is, in fact, recovering with Lindsay Lohan is probably doing so out of desperation to actually get noticed, or at least pop up in Google News searches about the troubled starlet. (Not that the Aug. 25 release has helped all that much; so far, the band’s MySpace profile has only been viewed about 6,300 times.)

Second, the band is–and this may not surprise you much!–absolutely wretched. Imagine a world in which the evolution of music stopped after Orgy dropped its cover of “Blue Monday,” but somehow allowed Hinder to exist in some weird space-time warp, and you might get a vague idea of the craptasticness that is Dead Stays Alive. (They should not be confused with these guys in any way.) Listening to their blend of middle-of-the-road rock, lazy electro beats, and yarling made me reflect on the skilled musicianship and catchy songs that are sprinkled throughout Nickelback’s catalog.

Either way, this whole kerfuffle will probably get the guys some sort of record deal, perhaps even with the long-dormant Casablanca Records. After all, the music business is, as an old boss of mine would never hesitate to tell me, “all about relationships,” and what sort of relationship could be stronger than two people becoming friends in rehab, and one of them subsequently whoring that friendship out to the press for cheap publicity purposes?

Dead Stays Alive [MySpace]

  1. Rob Murphy

    Maura, this post perfectly illustrates why I get out of bed in the morning. Thank you.

  2. Anonymous

    Oh, I mis-read this. I thought it said that the band member was recovering “FROM” Lindsay Lohan and I was intrigued. Now, not so much.

  3. CharlesRockyPamplin

    I’m getting a strong God Lives Underwater vibe from this. also that “Sucks to be You” song that was in the ‘buzz bin’, about 8 years ago…

  4. jasonelias

    I always wondered what happened to Ugly Kid Joe.

  5. Bob Loblaw

    David Puddy and the creepy son from Wedding Crashers?

  6. TRex has hips but he's not a hipster

    I live in Athens, GA, which is about an hour away from Atlanta. These guys are a case study of the problem with Atlanta bands. They all look like C students from the Rock Star Technical Academy. If you see a bunch of guys (and they’re almost all guys) in leather pants and it’s 95 degrees outside, why, they must be an Atlanta band.

    I mean, look at them. The caption for that picture should say, “Curse you, evil stylist!”

  7. TRex has hips but he's not a hipster

    I live in Athens, GA, which is about an hour away from Atlanta. These guys are a case study of the problem with Atlanta bands. They all look like C students from the Rock Star Technical Academy. If you see a bunch of guys (and they’re almost all guys) in leather pants and it’s 95 degrees outside, why, they must be an Atlanta band.

    I mean, look at them. The caption for that picture should say, “Curse you, evil stylist!”

  8. Bazooka Tooth

    i say this with no irony whatsoever (given the handle): Atlanta is the suckiest major city in america.

  9. Reidicus

    @Aquemini — Booooooooo.

    Current Atlanta bands: Black Lips, Deerhunter, Snowden, The Selmanaires, Coathangers. And no cows were harmed to provide their stage attire.

  10. blobby

    Plus, every awesome Atlanta rapper– Goodie Mob and OutKast apring to mind, as well as Ludacris and a lot of other less well known artists. This is not to say, of course, that they don’t lay the occasional goose egg: here’s looking at you Jermaine Dupri.

  11. Anonymous

    Aquemini- what’s your point? At least Atlanta’s biggest indie rock festival Corndogorama has enough authenticity to off-set douchebags like these two. That city has a lot more good bands putting out independent records than the rest of the country realizes- at least i didn’t realize what was there until after i left. Mastadon, Drop Sonic, The Hiss- Day Mars Ray, James Hall, Silent Kids have all been killing it for years- Mtv News did a segment on the city’s music scene thats worth checking out-

    [www.mtv.com]

    Aquemini…come up with your own name dude- that name belongs to Dre and Big Boi…Atlanta natives.

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