Billy Ray Cyrus Rewrites “Butterfly Kisses” For His Daughter

If you’re worried about where your next Hannah Montana fix will come from, fear not! 20/20 has got you covered tonight at 9, when the two most famous Cyruses sit down with Deborah Roberts to discuss “Hannah Montana, Hollywood Bad Girls and More.” The “and More” likely refers to the calculation of the precise moment at which Miley Cyrus becomes disillusioned with the Disney Channel and starts dating a member of Panic! At the Disco out of spite. Or maybe it just means Billy Ray’s new single, “Ready, Set, Don’t Go,” a wistful, ambivalent tribute to his daughter’s freakish rise to stardom:

In the grand scheme of things, the song is actually not terrible–it’s at least a notch above Nickelback. But the lyrics are kind of unnerving:

“Looks like she’s all ready to leave Nothing left to pack There ain’t no room for me in that car Even if she asked me to tag along God I gotta be strong

She’s at the startin’ line of the rest of her life As ready as she’s ever been Got the hunger and the stars in her eyes The prize is hers to win She’s waitin’ on my blessings before she hits that open road Baby get ready Get set Don’t go”

Miley is, what, fourteen? Maybe you should be in the car with her, Billy. She can’t even drive a real one yet, let alone a metaphorical fame-mobile. Also, many young teens who have the stars in their eyes are forced to attend school and go to pool parties. In our society, eighteen is traditionally considered to be the age at which we reach adulthood, or the “startin’ line,” as you put it. Maybe you were confused about this? Are you clear now? Seriously, put the guitar down and rescue your daughter from the Disney Channel compound immediately. And then, please shave your soul patch.

Billy Ray Cyrus – Ready Set Don’t Go (FULL VERSION!!) [YouTube] Billy Ray Cyrus Helps Daughter Miley Cope With ‘the Pressures of the World ‘ [ABCNews]