World Cries “Uncle,” Nickelback Shows Mercy

Sep 21st, 2007 // 3 Comments

nickelback.jpg According to Billboard, the members of pasty commercial-rock powerhouse Nickelback don’t intend to put out a new album anytime soon, since they could basically buy Canada fifteen times over with the money they’re raking in from 2005′s still-top-ten All the Right Reasons:

“Everything is completely up in the air, and no one’s in a hurry to do anything,” frontman Chad Kroeger tells Billboard.com. “We just finished up two years touring on this record, and we’re all a little crispy.”

He must be talking about his hair.

His older brother, bassist Mike Kroeger, concurs, saying that after seven singles, “I think it’s probably time for us to sort of fade into the shadows for a little bit and give everybody a little bit of a breather before we come out with our next stuff. An early return, in my opinion, would be a mistake.”

Or, you know, any return. Also, it is apparent that Mike Kroeger is at least somewhat aware of how terrifying his own ubiquity is. Kudos!

“Can we make a better record than ‘All the Right Reasons?’” he continues. “I don’t know. It’s gonna be really tough to make this great, new record jam-packed full of magical moments that we’re gonna love and the fans are gonna love. That’s all in the stars at the moment.”

Now that’s the money quote! Could anyone make a better record than All the Right Reasons? I think the answer is, yes, literally anyone could. The trick is getting a hold of whatever black magic dust it was they sprinkled over that album to make it so inexplicably irresistible to mass culture.

Nickelback In No Rush To Make New Album [Billboard]

  1. Hyman Decent

    they could basically buy Canada fifteen times over with the money they’re raking in from 2005′s still-top-ten All the Right Reasons

    Maybe not, now that US$1 = CDN$1.

  2. CaptainPeacockSuit

    Sturdy Danny McGee was up his fifty-ninth tree and he said…’I work as fast as I can,’ when he suddenly saw…Two scoops of raisins in a package of Kellogg’s Raisin Bran…

  3. FionaScrapple

    Is that a basketball in his pants?

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