What Exactly Is Coming Out Of Hannah Montana’s Womb?

jharv | September 24, 2007 10:30 am
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Answer: A lot of hot air. Because bloggers be gullible/have never heard of photo editing software, many apparently don’t realize that a teen mag like J-14 is never going to “out” Miley Cyrus as being knocked up with some nameless dude’s love child. Even though there’s a blurry, retouched photo going around that looks like it was taken directly from the magazine:

“Yes, sadly it’s true. Miley herself confirmed the pregnancy rumors during a J-14 interview. ‘I’m going to take good care of my baby. I’ve already gained 7 pounds. I was in real shock when it happened accidentally. I went a little too far. I’m sorry to all of my fans’,” the magazine photo reports Miley as saying.

“While Miley is still planning on going on tour for her new solo cd, she’s currently filming the series finale of ‘Hannah Montana’. Even though she’s keeping hush about who’s the father. Miley’s parents are very disappointed in her: ‘Whatever’s meant to happen will happen. I guess it was meant to be this way.”

Clearly that story has to be true because it reads so…journalistic and junk. Maura gave me this story (with the usual “humanity is doomed” caveats) because apparently Hannah Montana news (about her stolen virtue or otherwise) is now my “beat.” But musing on this phantom pregnancy did give me the opportunity to come up with a new tagline for the site:

Idolator: The only blog where they follow up a Pissed Jeans video with an examination of Miley Cyrus’ uterus.

Is Hanna Montana Star Mylie Cyrus Really Pregnant [Gay Socialites]