Allow Us To Share Some Chilling Facts With You Regarding The State Of Pop-Rock Music In The 21st-Century

Sep 27th, 2007 // 25 Comments

nickelback.jpgSpeaking of Nickelback, if you were already inching for the anti-depressants, the following facts from Billboard‘s ongoing sales-bonanza blowjob about the band’s latest album will finish the job that Kate started last Friday:

Nickelback’s fifth album, released Oct. 4, 2005, has become a phenomenon that’s not only eclipsed “Silver Side Up” but is arguably the biggest rock album of the century so far. It’s been in the top 30 of The Billboard 200 for 102 consecutive weeks and is currently No. 7. The last artist in that rarefied position was fellow Canadian Shania Twain, whose 1997 release “Come On Over” spent its first 123 weeks in the top 30.

During the course of its run, “All the Right Reasons” has also notched a head-spinning array of accomplishments that have contributed to its longevity. The album is six-times-platinum in the United States, with more than 8 million copies sold worldwide. After debuting at No. 1 with first-week sales of 325,000, it’s never sold fewer than 25,000 copies in a given week and has enjoyed significant spikes during each of the last two holiday seasons. A two-disc special edition of the album released in July has also bolstered its sales life.

It’s actually since slipped to No. 15. But still: Feel worse than you did when you got up? I know I do. I also know the century is only seven years old or so, but the words “arguably the biggest rock album of the century so far” coupled with “Nickelback” makes the days when I was battered with “Man, I Feel Like A Woman” nonstop while I was stacking boxes of copy paper for eight hours straight seem like the happiest time of my life.

Nickelback: A View From The Top [Billboard]

  1. baconfat

    I’m starting to see why people are growing impatient for Chinese Democracy now.

  2. Dead Air ummm Dead Air

    This is the thing that always gets me. Granted, I don’t hang out with a large percentage of main stream rock listeners, but NOONE I know likes Nickleback. Not the butt-rock loving dudes I go to the gym with. Not the hens I work with who think Daughtry is the greatest thing since Three Doors Down. No one I know likes them. But clearly lots of people do.

    It’s kind of like Carrot Top. He’s universally known as the worst comedian ever, yet if that’s the case, why does he have a career? Someone has to like him.

  3. Christopher R. Weingarten

    Nickelback are more like Dane Cook in that regard. In so, so many ways actually.

  4. Kate Richardson

    :(

    Seriously. What? For me it’s a simple matter of not getting it. When I hear Nickelback I don’t really hear anything. It might as well be a robot trying to verbalize binary code, and yet people love them? They’re not even fucking COOL! At least Scott Stapp put on some leather pants and attempted cultivate a persona. Chad Kroeger? Really? Shouldn’t he be working at a Blockbuster somewhere? No, but really…

    [www.post-gazette.com]
    REALLY?

  5. Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee

    Nickleback has replaced Creed as the band that country music fans listen to when they want to “rock out…”

    …And we all know how much country music fans LOVE to buy albums.

  6. Christopher R. Weingarten

    I still like “Rock Star.”

    Haters!

  7. catdirt

    have you been reviewing records on pitchfork for a while now?

  8. McCroskey

    Nickelbacks’s moms sure have bought a shitload of their records

  9. Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee

    Portugal leads the way…

    [www.youtube.com]

  10. Al Shipley

    I hate to always be the resident Nickelback apologist here because they are kinda boring, but honestly at least half of the 8 billion singles off this album were pretty good. And while it definitely doesn’t deserve to be this decade’s Appetite For Destruction (or whatever the biggest rock album of the 80s was), can you think of anything that really does? I mean, like an actual popular rock album from this decade that went platinum once or twice but probably deserved to sell 8 mil? I mean I’d like to know, because I can’t.

  11. Poubelle

    My roommate freshman year loved Nickelback. And that is why I will never be checking “Rock” in the Music Preference part of a housing form ever, ever again.

  12. the rich girls are weeping

    I can’t even hum the tune of any Nickelback single.

  13. Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee

    @GovernmentNames: Does every decade need an “Appetite for Destruction?”

    By your logic, Nickelback wins the “biggest rock album of the 00′s” contest by default.

    I actually like that. It seems fitting for a band of Nickelback’s caliber.

  14. brainchild

    eh… the general population likes to buy shitty music. i got used to that years ago.

  15. El Zilcho!

    @therichgirlsareweeping: Whenever I try to think of a Nickelback tune, I can never remember if I’m actually remembering a Puddle of Mudd song. Or a Trapt song. Or a Saliva song. Man, all these bands are terrible.

  16. TheMojoPin

    I completely agree with the “rock band that it’s OK for country fans to like” theory. Living in Chicago and DC the last few years, I too can’t think of a single person I know who listens to Nickleback…but back in 2001, when that first album came out and I was at school at the most rednecky, conservative liberal arts school you could ever find, Emory in Henry, right down in the tip of VA next to the border of Tenn., people rocked the fucking shit out of that goddamn album. Most of the locals were country all the way, but damn, did they love their Creed and Nickleback was the “hot new band” blasting out of every goddamn ginormous pickup truck that rumbled by.

    Silent Majority strikes again. The vote Nixon and they love their poodle-haired rock stars.

  17. Diglett

    Nickelback is the musical equivalent of airline food (I mean, when
    they had airline food). Does anyone actually like it? No. Does it taste
    exactly the same every single time, whether it be manicotti or turkey
    with stuffing? Yes. Do people eat it? Yes. Because they were too lazy
    and uncreative to pack food in their overhead, and by the time the
    trays start coming around, they’ve decided that all food is delicious.
    People who buy Nickelback albums never even think about bringing peanut
    butter sandwiches.

  18. Diglett

    Nickelback is the musical equivalent of airline food. If you’re too
    lazy and uncreative to pack your own peanut butter sandwich, by the
    time that cart comes around, it’s delicious.

  19. Diglett

    oh shit, sorry for the double post. The first one didn’t show up for
    like 15 minutes, so I paraphrased. I need to think about other things.

  20. Julio Allison

    Oh, art and commerce, oil and water.

    It’s just never any less irksome to be reminded that the people with the shittiest taste in music’s listening/purchasing habits will largely dictate what the market will supply to those of us that actually really care.

    “The people” suck.

  21. Trackback

    Throw your faith in mankind out the window and get those Valiums ready: Billboard.com [via Idolator] has pointed out the obvious but extremely upsetting fact that Nickleback’s 2005 record All The Right Reasons is easily the biggest rock record of the century so far.

  22. iheartponeez

    I dunno how to do the reply thing, but I’ll just say that for the guy wondering what rock album was more deserving of being “Appetite for Destruction,” I’ll say Franz Ferdinand’s debut or one of My Chemical Romance’s albums. Both of those albums were decent, mainstream hits that sold a lot of copies and are worlds more valid than Nickleback.

  23. iheartponeez

    PS: You can pick Franz Ferdinand or MCR depending on how teenage and mainstream you draw the line for what gets to be “The New Appetite for Destruction.”

  24. MrStarhead

    Wow… so All the Right Reasons has only sold 2 million albums outside the US, and I’m willing to bet at least a million to 1.5 million of those were in Canada. That means Europe, Japan, Australia, and New Zealand are not buying into this watered-down crap at all. Huzzah for them.

Leave A Comment