Okay, you little bastards, especially the ones leaving comments all over the site about how we somehow brought the authorities to your little digital bootlegging ring. (It’s not as if anyone in a position of power in the music industry had anything to do with spreading the word about OiNK.) You stole. And it’s okay! We all do it. In the interest of full disclosure, I will now inform any RIAA lawyers reading this that I have been known to use Napster, Audiogalaxy, and Soulseek at various points in my life. Come and get me! But all of you OiNK goofs need to cease your pathetic justifications and “moralist” handwringing* at once!
Especially those of you who may have paid a donation to steal. Forget prosecution, you should be lucky you’re not being tarred and feathered or thrown in the stockade for being that stupid. And hey, you can calm down because your ringleader has been released from jail, even though his dumb ass is probably going back there for a long time. (Also hilarious: “It is highly doubtful that the IFPI or BPI will go after [all OiNK users], or even one of them.” Sleep with one eye open, chumps.) The gross entitlement and embarassing lack of perspective displayed in the OiNK “fallout” makes me long for a tactical Iranian nuclear strike or a killer comet more than ever.
* From that in-defense of OiNK rant, regarding how “the new model” should make money: “Touring and merch trumps album sales.” It does, huh? Tell that to your writer who wouldn’t shell out eight measly bucks for a show by one of his “favorite” artists. Surely your proclamation will inspire him to actually pay for a concert by a band he likes, instead of sucking up via blog for a guest-list spot.