A Helpful Idolator Reminder: Brush Your Teeth Right Now

Nov 27th, 2007 // 7 Comments

orthodontistsfrommars.jpg No, that’s not John Denver with a crazy busted grill. It’s very old-school David Bowie, heading up a Top 10 list that reflexively made me go gargle with Listerine.

Maybe it’s just growing up with a mom who worked in the dental industry and drilled proper oral hygiene into us from day one, but Gigwise’s silly list of “The Worst Teeth In Music” kinda wigged me out. Especially the infamously yellow, sore-riddled mouth of the Happy Mondays’ Shaun Ryder. Dude looks like the “final stage” in those gross-out peridontal disease photos your childhood dentist used to put the fear of god into you. Regular flossing, people! It’s essential.

The Worst Teeth In Music Revealed [Gigwise]

  1. Anonymous

    Ground control to major dental work.

  2. gorillavsmarykate

    And the lesson to be learned judging by their list: Don’t be British, and don’t be black.

  3. Jfrankparnell

    That’s not fair. The Brits are born with awful teeth — it’s part of their national identity. A funnier list would be British rock stars with surprisingly good teeth. It’s a country where Martin Amis’s braces made headlines.

    I must say Shaun Ryder’s teeth were entertaining, although any strip-mall meth-head worth a damn could do that to themselves in a week.

    Didn’t Chet Baker lose his teeth to a golf club? That’s earning your rockstar (ok, jazz icon) teeth.

  4. Chris Molanphy

    The writer seems to have a problem with fronts/metal in general, without talking about what those fronts are covering. I mean, Flav and Lil Jon probably have awful teeth under their metal, but the metal is clearly (however you feel about it aesthetically) an active choice on their part.

    Less seriously, I think we all need to enjoy the Simpsons episode that introduced us to The Big Book of British Smiles.

  5. Laurrel

    I don’t mind Bowie’s old teeth. They have more character.

  6. Dead Air ummm Dead Air

    @dennisobell: Why must you turn my office into a house of lies, Ralph?

  7. doctaj

    Seriously, there is a guy named Paul Potts? Don’t the Dead Kennedys talk about him in “Holiday in Cambodia”?

    I always thought Mic Jones had awful teeth…

Leave A Comment