Stephen King, pop cultural pundit and guy who once made John Boy Walton fight a gay clown, has issued a list of the only seven albums he deems worthy this year. Possibly because the modern pop landscape is more frightening for a middle-aged crank than a possessed big rig chasing Emilio Estevez? “Stephen King’s taste in music is more eclectic than scary,” sez AP. Don’t forget boring! The full list is after the jump–y’all can start arguing about Wilco again if you feel like it–but first our impressions.
THE GOOD: Uh.
THE BAD: “In truth, your Uncle Stevie was disappointed with this year’s new music, very disappointed indeed, and his year-end list reflects that,” King says. “I could only find seven albums I wanted to mention.” We know laziness is kind of your thing when it comes to talking about music, Uncle Stevie, but what was so disappointing about ’07? Was your heart broken by Neon Bible? Did you feel ripped off actually paying for a copy of that A Place To Bury Strangers record? Were you bummed to hear how much filler was on the Soulja Boy album after taking all that time to learn how to Crank That? What??
THE WHAAA?: Anyone calling Ozzy’s Black Rain the “finest heavy metal record of the year; a true speaker-buster” needs to have the bridge of his nose rapped with a rolled-up copy of the Decibel year-end issue.
1. Steve Earle – Washington Square Serenade
2. Wilco – Sky Blue Sky
3. Mika – Life in Cartoon Motion
4. Lyle Lovett and His Large Band – It’s Not Big It’s Large
5. Ozzy Osbourne – Black Rain
6. John Fogerty – Revival
7. Southern Culture on the Skids – Countrypolitan Favorites
Stephen King Names His Top 7 Albums Of ’07 [MSNBC; HT: Reed Fischer]