The Ideal Indie Rock Woman: Pale, Malnourished, And With Really Bad Bangs

feistorfamine.jpgStereogum released the results of its reader-voted “2007 Gummy Awards” today, and once again the winners in “Ms. Indie Rock” prove that when it comes to wank-mining material, your average indie-rocking male is looking for (gasp!) a skinny white girl with a shaggy haircut. Emphasis on the “skinny.” And did we mention the “white”? Aside from a few notable tokens exceptions, there are enough pointy elbows and too-sad-to-leave-the-house complexions here to fill up a year’s worth of American Apparel advertisements. Way to reject mainstream standards of beauty, dudes! The guy hotties list also features many downy, bony gents, yet somehow offers a slightly wider range of body types than the chick list’s parade of waifs. The full lists are after the jump, but first our thoughts on the least sexy year-end round-up of 2007.

THE GOOD: Not even going there.
THE BAD: Sure, you could pen a 10,000-word rant on how this list of female fantasy objects reflects indie rock’s insular ideals even when it comes to sex, but we’ll just say that sexism, stereotyping, and body image issues will no longer be a concern in indie culture when a lady who looks like Dan Deacon makes it into the Top 20.
THE WHAAAA? R&B queen Sharon Jones deserves to be on this list if anyone does, but aside from wrecking the curve in terms of both age and ethnicity, who in their right mind would class Ms. Jones as an “indie rock” hottie? (Also whoever voted for Natalie Portman needs their life changed with a boot in the ass.)

Chick Hotties
50 Elisa Ambrogio (Magik Markers)
49 Laura Burhenn (Georgie James)
48 Hesta Prynn (Northern State)
47 Jesca Hoop
46 Uffie
45 Jemina Pearl (Be Your Own Pet)
44 Scout Niblett
43 Mariqueen Maandig (West Indian Girl)
42 Natalie Portman
41 Grace Potter (Grace Potter and the Nocturnals)
40 Victoria Legrand (Beach House)
39 Victoria Bergsman (Taken By Trees)
38 Rosay (The Pipettes)
37 Amanda Palmer (The Dresden Dolls)
36 Ninja (The Go! Team)
35 Sharon Jones
34 Nicole Atkins
33 Robyn
32 Becky Stark (Lavender Diamond)
31 Laura Veirs
30 Amy Millan (Stars)
29 Kazu Makino (Blonde Redhead)
28 Gwenno (The Pipettes)
27 Shara Worden (My Brightest Diamond)
26 Amy Winehouse
25 Marissa Nadler
24 Beth Ditto (The Gossip)
23 Björk
22 Kathryn Calder (The New Pornographers/Immaculate Machines)
21 Meg White (The White Stripes)
20 Marnie Stern
19 Polly Jean Harvey (PJ Harvey)
18 Lovefoxxx (CSS)
17 Sara Quin (Tegan And Sara)
16 Kate Nash
15 Régine Chassagne (Arcade Fire)
14 Eleanor Friedberger (The Fiery Furnaces)
13 Karen O. (Yeah Yeah Yeahs)
12 Regina Spektor
11 Lily Allen
10 Joanna Newsom
09 Tegan Quin (Tegan And Sara)
08 Natasha Khan (Bat For Lashes)
07 Emily Haines (Metric/Broken Social Scene)
06 Neko Case
05 Chan Marshall (Cat Power)
04 Maya Arulpragasam (M.I.A.)
03 Annie Clark (St. Vincent)
02 Jenny Lewis (Rilo Kiley)
01 Leslie Feist (Feist)

Dude Hotties
50 Naeem Juwon (Spank Rock)
49 Eddie Argos (Art Brut)
48 Chris Bear (Grizzly Bear)
47 Carl Newman (The New Pornographers)
46 Rufus Wainwright
45 James Mercer (The Shins)
44 Josh Homme (Queens of the Stone Age)
43 Morrissey
42 Blake Sennett (Rilo Kiley)
41 Thurston Moore (Sonic Youth)
40 Jonny Greenwood (Radiohead)
39 Alex Turner (Arctic Monkeys)
38 Will Oldham
37 Kele Okereke (Bloc Party)
36 Caleb Followill (Kings Of Leon)
35 Brandon Flowers (The Killers)
34 Colin Meloy (The Decemberists)
33 Jeff Tweedy (Wilco)
32 Mark Ronson
31 Ed Droste (Grizzly Bear)
30 Devendra Banhart
29 Tim Harrington (Les Savy Fav)
28 Ted Leo
27 Ben Bridwell (Band Of Horses)
26 Paul Banks (Interpol)
25 Patrick Wolf
24 Owen Pallett (Final Fantasy)
23 Sam Beam (Iron & Wine)
22 Kanye West
21 Gregg Gillis (Girl Talk)
20 Will Sheff (Okkervil River)
19 Craig Finn (The Hold Steady)
18 Jack White (The White Stripes)
17 Bradford Cox (Deerhunter)
16 Dan Deacon
15 Conor Oberst (Bright Eyes)
14 Ryan Adams
13 Kevin Drew (Broken Social Scene)
12 Matt Berninger (The National)
11 James Murphy (LCD Soundsystem)
10 Win Butler (Arcade Fire)
09 Spencer Krug (Sunset Rubdown)
08 Andrew Bird
07 Noah Lennox (Animal Collective/Panda Bear)
06 Thom Yorke (Radiohead)
05 Sufjan Stevens
04 Britt Daniel (Spoon)
03 Zach Condon (Beirut)
02 Kevin Barnes (of Montreal)
01 Jens Lekman

Indie Rock Hotties Of 2007 [Stereogum]