The “Onion” Finds A Band Name Heavier Than “Regular Goat Ass”

Dec 14th, 2007 // 23 Comments

57231.jpgThe Onion‘s A.V. Club has once again undertaken an impossible public service, ranking the “Worst Band Names Of ’07,” a task that becomes progressively harder every year as MySpace and Facebook make it all too easy to try and catalog every crappy pun cooked up by four dudes in a garage. This year’s list goes a little heavy on names that make poor use of the word “funk” for my liking, but my seven favorites of ’07 make up for the funky deluge through sheer shamelessness or WTF-ery.

SuperHeavyGoatAss
Comanche Abortion
Dance Me Pregnant
Roger’s Porn Collection
Prognosis: Killing It
Harmonica Lewinsky
Haunting Oboe Music

Sadly “Wolf Tee” didn’t make the list. Also, we won’t even get into the number of entires that are actually great band names, but hey, one man’s trash and all that. And with three pages of bad sex jokes and awkward plays on celebrity names, you have to admire the compilers’ effort.

The Worst Band Names Of ’07 [A.V. Club]

  1. mike a

    I miss ska puns. Sort of.

  2. Ned Raggett

    Harmonica Lewinska?

  3. djp

    I hope Haunting Oboe Music is a hardcore band.

  4. djp

    Okay lolling at myself because I am finding Haunting Oboe Music to be kind of great! This is total pander-to-DJP-and-maybe-Ned music.

  5. tigerpop

    I’m shocked by just how many of these bands I’ve actually heard of.

  6. El Zilcho!

    I thought that Slut Barf and Butt Stomach were particularly terrible. And I’m concerned that there are two bands that go by Vomit Bomb.

  7. Zeero

    Superheavygoatass and Haunting Oboe Music are both Austin-based bands. And they both rock.

    Though there are no goats or oboes involved in either, sadly.

  8. Ned Raggett

    @djp: I’ll be the judge of that!

    Hmmm…yeah, nice enough on initial listen.

  9. Ned Raggett

    Although that cow image in the background is ridiculous.

  10. the rich girls are weeping

    I should be shocked at how many of these bands are from Austin, except that I’m not.

    Furthermore, I wrote a little ditty that I would belt out every time I was walking down Red River and saw SuperHeavyGoatAss on a marquee.

    AND … Phunk and Associates’ name is an homage to this guy: [www.funkandassociates.com] — best late-night commercials evar.

  11. Jfrankparnell

    Agreed, some of these are actually great, like Roger’s Porn Collection. Winner for me, of those here, is:
    Prognosis: Killing It
    But the worst seen this year?
    Wintry Mix.
    I kid you not.

    An I pray, someday, there will be:
    Crowded Housewife
    Camper Van Halen
    Stem Cellphone

    etc

  12. Al Shipley

    Dance Me Pregnant is not a bad band name, but it would make a great song title.

  13. SuperUnison

    @tigerpop: Yeah, me too. But then, I pay attention to both underground hardcore and harsh noise, so I pretty much rely on AIDS puns, skull imagery, and long ass statements of endearment as red flags to filter out which bands are already cliche.

  14. elvissinatra

    “Harmonica Lewinsky” would be great if he was actually a Polish bluesman.

  15. AL

    My pick for worst of the year: iLiKETRAiNS

  16. djp

    I got to the Haunting Oboe Music song that features more of the singer and I’m backpedalling a little bit on my previous comment; the band is good but WOW do they need to not let their vocalist sing.

  17. cockfightbarmitzvah

    I did a cartoon short about the process of naming your group called “Our Band Sucks”. I’m afraid all of the above pale in comparison to Sparkle Fatty Pizza Party

    [www.youtube.com]

  18. queensissy

    @djp: Aw, that’s too bad. I think that’s a great band name too.

  19. That Guy

    Candygram For Mongo? Brilliant name.

  20. BigRicks

    Taintstick

    and/or

    Foxboro Hot Tub…wait, that’s who…Oh, that makes sense.

  21. cyruscope

    If I hadn’t clicked over to the AV Club I’d never have seen their write up on Life of Crime by Laughing Hyenas. Any other old farts want to wax nostalgic for that fucking great band?

  22. The Dewd

    Spatula

  23. KingCool

    Old news here and only sorta related, but Finger Eleven was previously known as Rainbow Butt Monkey. But ah! What’s in a name?

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